“Oh, but we did, Sir Damien,” Lady Blanche broke in once more. “And yet we trusted that you would be moved by the justice of this and agree to aid us. Alissende has freed you from your tormentors, and now we ask that you do the same for her.”
Damien’s fists clenched again.As if preparing to ward off a blow…as if he yearned with everything in him to reject outright any obligation to her.The phrase slipped into Alissende’s thoughts, but before she could attempt to come to terms with it, Lady Blanche continued to argue her position, undaunted.
“That Hugh will attempt to lay claim to Alissende again, proxy or nay, is a certainty, and there is no other who would be able or perhaps even willing to undertake the charge of her safety in this. You have much to gain, not only in the life that has been restored to you but also in the lands, wealth, and power that are tied to this union. For the sake of what you once felt for each other, will you not consider it?”
Oncefelt. Nay…
The words echoed mockingly through Alissende’s heart, underscoring the heart-wrenching truth that for her, at least, the feelings had not truly changed. She had never stopped loving Damien. And no matter how much it hurt, she knew that she likely never would.
She watched him wage his internal struggle, feeling all the while the renewed stabs of misery shooting through her. This was exactly what she had feared would happen…what she had wanted to avoid at all costs. This outcome was not unexpected, but she could not suppress the flare of resentment that rose in her nonetheless, reminding her why she had yearned for the peace of a nunnery, where she could know blessed protection from all the intrigues, decisions, and whims of men.
Damien would reject her now, coldly and in front of these witnesses—an action that she could not refute was but a shadow of the public humiliation she had dealt him five years ago. It did not matter that she had regretted that decision through every moment of the endless time that had followed; what was done was done, and she had little right to blame him for seeking his retribution now that the chance presented itself.
And so it was that when he pushed his hand through his hair and let out his breath, looking from Ben, to Michael, to her mother, and finally to her, she was stunned to see that something else had replaced the acrimony in his expression. He wasn’t content by any means, but it seemed that he had come to a decision. It only remained to hear what it was—and he did not leave her waiting long.
“I cannot deny that, whether asked for or nay, your efforts to liberate me from France deserve some kind of recompense. What little honor I still possess compels me to try to meet that obligation in some way.”
“It does?” Michael sounded surprised, and Alissende glanced at him, wondering how he had managed to sound so convinced of this plan all along when he’d clearly harbored such serious doubts.
“Aye,” Damien said evenly, also glancing to him, “and so I will consent to do my part in this proxy, provided you permit certain additional terms that I wish to set forth.”
Michael’s expression seemed both hopeful and cautious. “Name them.”
Alissende’s heart slowed to a deep, heavy cadence in preparation for what Damien might say next, her emotions in turmoil at the thought that he had agreed to aid her at all.
He stood there, tall and powerful, no longer a man besieged but rather a warrior who knew full well his worth in the matter before him. “The first of these terms is the most important one,” he answered, “for if it cannot be agreed upon, then naught else can follow.”
He shifted his gaze back to Alissende then, pausing anew and making her breath catch at the expression burning in his eyes. And when he spoke, each word landed like a tiny hammer on her wounded heart.
“I will take on the role of your husband, Alissende—but for the space of no more than six months. After that time I demand to be released of it, without penalty or tie, to live as I choose for the rest of my days.”
Chapter 3
Damien kept his gaze fixed to Alissende in the wake of his pronouncement, experiencing a kind of clutching sensation in his gut at the wave of vulnerability he saw sweep over her exquisite face. It followed hard upon his very visceral awareness of the way she’d reacted to his speaking her name aloud. He’d had the foreknowledge to brace himself for the moment, conscious of the fact that he had not uttered it yet this day—that in truth it was the first time the sound of it had passed his lips in five years.
Yet she said nothing in response.
“Six months?”It was her mother who broke the silence, her tone indicating how insulting she found his stipulation.
“Aye.” He readied himself for the challenges he knew would come now, not only from Lady Blanche but also from Father Michael, and perhaps even from Ben. Whether or not Alissende would protest remained to be seen. “Six months will provide time enough for you to find a more suitable and lasting spouse. One to whom Alissende can be married as soon as an annulment between us becomes official.”
“How can you be so sure that the Church will grant you an annulment, Damien, after a full half year of a marriage lived openly at court?” Ben argued. “Rescinding a sanctioned union is a complicated and holy process, and not as simple as wishing it so.”
“Arranging a proxy is normally complex as well, and yet it seems to have been expedited quite smoothly in this case.” Damien gave Father Michael a pointed look, drawing an answering flush into the young man’s cheeks. “But if Alissende’s cousin is not able to exert his influence again, my second requirement should take care of any difficulty. It is this: I will not perform the public oath and ceremony that is necessary to make me a husband in truth. We will need to attest to society at large that vowsweresaid, but that they were not in actuality will aid our cause to extricate ourselves from the union when the six months have passed.”
He paused for a beat before adding quietly but definitively, “Also, I will not call Alissende by the title of ‘wife’ in public or in private, though I will do my best to ensure by my demeanor that none have doubt in considering her as such.”
Michael made a sound in his throat. “You cannot be serious about such a small matter,” he reproached, and it was clear that he thought the portion of Damien’s condition had sprung from spite, in retribution for the pain Alissende had dealt to him in their past.
But it wasn’t. Referring to her by that title atop the pretense of all else would simply be more than Damien could bear, and he knew it. He leveled his stare at Michael. “I assure you that I am in earnest about it.”
A stunned silence settled over the chamber again; it was so still, in fact, that Damien could hear the songbirds outside the castle walls. Alissende remained quiet, turning slightly away from him to avoid his gaze. That was just as well, he decided, for this was difficult enough without the complication of those old emotions—vestiges of long ago that had no bearing now, he reminded himself—pulling at him.
It was Lady Blanche who finally bridged the gap once more, exhaling with a sound of irritation and crossing with brusque steps to one of the mullioned windows. She gazed out of it for a moment until she was seemingly able to bring herself into some semblance of control again, then she twisted her face to him, her expression sharp. “You have quite glibly offered up countered terms, Sir Damien, but you have overlooked one key aspect that neither your best intentions nor the Holy Mother Church has the power to undo.”
He raised his brow, inviting her to continue.
“You have made no mention of the babe that might result from your six-month union.”
