Asher sucked in a sharp breath, running a hand through his hair. “Aiming straight for the throat now, aren’t you?”
“I’m sorry,” Adara quickly said, shaking her head. She turned to leave. “I shouldn’t—”
He caught her forearm. “No, it’s all right.”
She turned to face him. The sorrow in his eyes almost made her knees buckle.
He ran a reassuring hand over her scarred knuckles, then his lips pulled into a knowing smile. “You never can tell, can you?”
Adara shook her head, fingers tracing Callan’s key dangling around her neck. “I thought he was the one . . . ” she murmured through the lump in her throat. “I don’t want to make the same mistake as him and give my key to the wrong person.”
Asher stared at his soulmate ring as he twisted it around his finger. “I’m not entirely sure how I knew,” he started. “It’s just . . . I couldn’t see myself giving up a piece of myself to anyone else. There was no one I’d trust with anything—especially my key—more than I trusted her.” He gave the ring a tug, but it didn’t budge from his finger, permanently latched onto him. “No one I’d want my life tied to for all eternity other than Izaela.”
“That’s a beautiful name,” Adara offered quietly.
“Not as beautiful as her,” he replied sorrowfully. “Ace and I were born in Remaline, and when a plague swept through the kingdom, our parents fell ill and died. That was when we decided we’d sail to Andreilia, so we went to Lyrkios. And that’s where I met Izaela. She had this instant tug to her that drew me in. A home that wasn’t a place but a person. And I knew that, even if we weren’t soulmates, she’d defend my key with her life. So I gave her the key to my heart and she gave hers to me.” Asher held up his hand, displaying his ring, silver glinting in the sunlight. “We were right. Calandra chose us for each other.”
Adara sighed heavily. She held Cal’s key up for Asher to see. “He chose wrong,” she said. “But I wanted it to be us. And now he’s gone.”
Asher’s eyes softened with empathy. Tentatively, he opened his arms and Adara leaned into him, resting her chin on his shoulder. Tears pricked her eyes.
“He’s dead because of me,” she whispered. His love for her—and her for him—got him killed. Even if their escape hadn’t failed, Adara knew the empire would have targeted who she cared for most—Callan—to break her.
Her tears dampened Asher’s shoulder and he hugged her tighter. “I lost Izaela too,” he said, voice wavering. “The two of us and my brother set sail to Andreilia. Our ship capsized in a storm. Ace and I washed up on shore. We never found her.” He sniffled lightly, but his composure was stone compared to hers. It felt like she would collapse any second, but Asher’s embrace never faltered. “I blamed myself, too. If we’d stayed in Lykrios, she’d still be alive. It’s natural to think about all the things you could have possibly done differently, but the reality is that we can’t change the past. We can only learn from it.”
Asher pulled away but held onto her shoulders, leaning down slightly to meet her eyes. His throat bobbed as he swallowed, blinking away tears. “Blood will clot. Skin will mend. Scars will fade. But heartbreak is worse than any cut. Because not only the heart breaks, the mind does as well. The place that holds all the memories and emotions is the root of the torment. The heart can forget, but the mind does not let go so easily.”
Adara nodded sadly. She knew because she carried her broken heart in a cage inside her chest, the bones clutching it tight like claws threatening to slash anyone who reached for it, never to be touched again. Because she tried so hard to destroy the parts of her mind that held all her emotions by corrupting them with thoughts of revenge and destruction. Hoping that anger would be strong enough to mask the sorrow.
It never was.
The only thing that could come close to curing heartbreak was forgetting. Dominic was clever to remove the memories that broke him. To ebb away the pain with amnesia. Though it seemed some of the pain still lurked in the deepest parts of his soul.
That was the difference between Adara and Dominic. He’d been too weak to deal with the pain, yet smart enough to take it all away. Adara had tried to be strong enough to go through with it every agonizing day. However, she was too much of a coward to be rid of it all. To be rid of what made her human. It would have been easier without emotion. Easier to take Dominic’s key. At the end of the day, Dominic would always win against her. As much as she despised it, she still had the ability to feel, unlike him.
“It’s been years and years since Izaela’s death, and I’m still not sure I’m healed,” Asher said, ambition lighting a fire in his eyes. “But I have to try. I will not let my mistakes make me live in misery. And neither will you.”
He was right. She could not let her past define her. She could not spend the rest of her life wallowing in regret. The gods had not chosen Callan as her soulmate. They would want her to move on. Cal would want her to move on, toliveas he had wished before taking his last breath.
With a heavy heart, Adara ripped Callan’s key from the chain around her neck. Its weight was cold in her hands, a stark contrast to the fire within her. She hoped Cal would understand. As much as it pained her to be rid of the only remaining object tied to him, she knew she had to let go, as he did with her. It was his time to move on in Sengui as well.
Adara pressed her lips to the cool metal. “Nin mon lat amor onn alt itryla,” she whispered, then hurled the key into the Plagued Sea.
Asher’s mouth opened in shock, then pressed into a thin line, all signs of sadness fading. “Well, that’s one way to do it,” he said.
Adara breathed a laugh at his baffled expression. “You’re right.” She shrugged.
Asher smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Okay, but please don’t blame me if you end up regretting that,” he said, gesturing to the ocean. “Not once did I tell you to throw the key away where, if you haven’t noticed, you can never get it back.”
Adara tipped her head back and laughed. It was so genuine, so weightless, so freeing that her heart felt like it was finally full again and could beat completely for another. But that wasn’t the only thing hammering inside her. The want for a life of love and happiness battled the need for revenge and survival. She wasn’t sure which one was winning.
“I don’t want it back, Ash,” she said. His eyes crinkled with a smile, dimples appearing on his cheeks. Adara turned to set her sights on Dominic, standing at the helm of the ship, talking to Sawyer. The corners of her lips curled up. “I have my sights on a new key.”
Asher gently laid a hand on hers, drawing her attention back to him. His features fell into a frown, despair lining his eyes. “I don’t know exactly what you mean by that, Adara,” he said quietly. “I don’t think I want to know because I don’t want to lose either of you.”
Guilt flooded her, slamming against her bones, rattling her composure.
“But I will say this. The Dominic we knew died the day he carved out his heart and wiped some of his memories.” Asher’s eyes found Dominic, joy filling them again as they watched him now sparring against Sawyer and Vesper on the quarterdeck.
