It had always been a matter of pride that she prepare most of their meals. Rather than buy processed, packaged foods, she kept her choices as healthy as her budget allowed. Thankfully, her mother had taught her how to cook the meals she herself had grown up eating. Therefore, making her own soups and stews, casseroles and stir fries was not only more nourishing, but it had also saved them a lot of money.
Not that Damon particularly liked her food and would often complain at the lack of bacon filled mac n’ cheese, hamburgers, or the barbecued steak and ribs he liked much better. But they couldn’t afford those luxuries often on her salary. And since any money from his paychecks was seldom passed over to her for groceries, she made do the best way she knew how.
Thinking back to when she’d still believed in her man, an uncomfortable moment came to mind. Because of Damon’s limited earnings, one day she’d made the mistake of commiserating with Lance about the boys not getting much business. His reaction had been revealing. He’d stared at her, his strange expression making her shut that topic down fast. He must have dwelt on her words and soon found a time when they were alone to reveal the truth.
“Rachel, the business is flourishing. In fact, we’ve been inundated with jobs and had to hire more employees. Didn’t Damon tell you? For the last few years, we’ve been drawing excellent salaries compared to when we first started.”
Maybe because she didn’t hide her expression fast enough, he caught on that the money he was doling out to his brother wasn’t making its way to her and the kids. Though his tone had filled with wariness, anger still ignited in his usually soft voice. Eyes staring at the floor, his tense body warned her of his seriousness.He hesitated at first, but finally said, “Please tell me Damon is paying your debts like the mortgage and truck payments. He told me you only returned to work to help your friend who couldn’t get enough people.”
“Of course he’s making those payments.” Rachel’s lie was tiny since she’d only had to cover the mortgage for the first time last month using her own limited savings. “He’s taking care of those expenses but lately he’s dropped comments that things are tough. I guess I thought he meant that the business wasn’t doing well.”
“I’ll talk to him.” Lance’s voice hardened.
“No.” Rachel spoke fast. “No, don’t. He wouldn’t like me to interfere in his affairs.” Hearing that last word made her blush. Having spoken the truth, she still didn’t want to involve Lance with their troubles. Yet she had no doubt that once again her cheating husband was breaking his marriage vows, hanging out with other women, and using his money to show them a good time.
Suddenly, she let go of her pity party into the past to realize that things had become uncomfortable in the present. The daunting silence had lasted so long that Lance came toward her. Putting the tray of hot dogs on the counter, he stood close, his eyes looking over her shoulder. As if he couldn’t help himself, he pulled her into his arms. “Don’t fret, honey. Damon’s like a cat with nine lives. I figure he’s still got a few left in him.” His warm hand caressing her back broke her control.
Sniffling, struggling to hold back her distress, she nodded and pushed from arms that felt too good to take advantage of. “We better get busy with the barbecue before those little monsters of mine come demanding their supper.”
Focusing her mind on helping Lance with preparing dinner, she found lots of fresh veggies in the fridge and began working on a salad they could eat with the treat. Then she organized thepackage of smores for their dessert. Catching the familiar smells of cooking wieners, she hurried outside to join them. Once seated at the new patio set Lance had built, she watched the byplay between her kids and their uncle.
“Hey, Uncle Lance, did you weally build this table from a log?” Nico demanded.
“Sure did, sport. Check the live-edges on both sides of the slab of teak here. And the bench seats are the same. One day, we’ll work on a set like this for your house. Both you and Rosie, if she wants to.”
Startled, Rosie chuckled, obviously happy to be included. “Me too?”
“Of course, why not? You’re smart and strong. It’s good for girls to know how to build things. I respect any woman who can look after many of the household repairs herself.”
“Okay. I want to.” Gleefully clapping her hands, something Rachel hadn’t seen Rosie do for such a long time, Rachel felt her heart lift.
“Then we’ll make a date soon.” Lance looked Rachel’s way for approval, and when she nodded, he stuck his thumb up toward the kids who both copied his gesture before filling their faces with another bite from a favorite indulgence.
It pleased her that they had Lance as a role model in their life, a hard worker who always seemed to have time for them. He’d wrestle with Nico and tease Rosie, making them both feel important, never ignoring their overtures to have his attention like Damon often did.
And he’d always had a nice way with her, commenting on how pretty she looked, complimenting her on her food when he dropped by for supper, which was often. Well, until recently.
Rachel suspected he knew about Damon’s extracurricular activities and didn’t know how to pretend otherwise, and so he’d opted to stay away rather than have to lie for his brother.Pondering those thoughts dampened her enjoyment so that she hurried the kids along.
Guilt began to surface for thinking about something other than Damon. Besides, she wanted to call the authorities to see if any changes had occurred during the time she’d been missing from her surveillance spot near the earthquake site.
Frankly, she also yearned for the privacy of her own bedroom. Then the tears she’d been holding at bay while showing a brave front for the children could be released. Feeling Damon closer than at any other time since the shake happened, she desperately needed to be alone.
***
Damon watched his wife and children’s spirits easing while they spent time with Lance. Unable to join in, his presence floated around them eavesdropping into their conversation. How was this possible? Damon had no idea. He realized that he had no powers, no ability to change what he saw, only the capability to be there. Unseen... invisible. Yet able to understand everything including the nuances of each individual.
This concept didn’t sit well with a man who liked to be the center of attention. But the universe didn’t care about his wants, and so he had no choice. Instead, he watched over them, understanding his brother’s need to help his family. More than once over the years, he’d suspected that Lance had the hots for Rachel. In fact, the idea had made him secretly swell inside knowing she was his and always would be. The girl had been infatuated with him from the first time they’d met.
He also knew that Lance would never act on his feelings or betray his brother. That was just a fact. And more to the point, Rachel would never willingly deceive him either.
So for the first few years of their marriage, Rachel had been enough woman to keep him by her side, playing the good guy. She’d had a way of making love to him, building his ego until he felt ten feet high. Sometimes, she still did. That’s what kept him with her when another man might have left.
Invisible now, a spirit frustrated with his situation, nevertheless he took the opportunity to watch and listen. It kind of tickled his funny bone, knowing he was eavesdropping on the family who adored him. At least, his wife still did. He’d seen her vigil at the quake scene. Heard her crying for him, praying that he be alive.
Was he? He didn’t know for sure. How could he be here like this if he were still breathing? Sensing the rubble that held his body in place, he’d drifted from a void of blackness to a weird kind of existence where he floated around in the normal world.
His daughter’s laughter startled him. Until then, the overall sadness had been complete and had seemed mandatory. Zeroing in on his sweet little Rosie, the antagonism the little girl presently carried toward her father shocked him. He sensed it and knew for certain he deserved her disrespect. The hard wall she’d built against feeling any grief made him uncomfortable. What happened? She used to adore him.
