Switching his attention to Lily’s mother, he admitted to suspecting that his beautiful Lily had cared about him so much that she’d begun to change. To feel happiness. Hadn’t he seen it for himself? Facing the truth he couldn’t ignore… all that had mattered to him in the beginning was seducing the most exciting female he’d ever met. No one else had ever been as honest with him about her cravings, explaining her strange weaknesses by admitting to her past. That she could only feel passion when a hand holding a weapon struck her flesh.
Sure, at the beginning of their relationship, he’d caught on that she had strange appetites, ones he’d weirdly found exciting, reaching deeply inside him in ways no other woman had ever achieved. All his life, he’d been taught to respect boundaries. Especially after seeing what his own father had done. Yet being completely honest, there had been times when he’d wanted to hit out at Rachel, show her who was boss, but he’d never done it. Not willing to delve too deeply, he’d put it down to fearing Lance’s reaction and knowing those actions would break the one relationship that mattered most above all others.
He needed Lance in his life, always had. Desperately. Or he’d never be able to exist. He loved Lance like no other. Finally able to accept that now, no lying allowed in his misty home, no bullshitting necessary, he could truly admit that the only person who he’d give up his life for would be the brother who he’d adored from the first time he’d seen the boy in his mother’s arms. Then she’d passed the tiny child over, saying, “Damon, here’s your gift. You asked for a brother and here he is. You must love him forever.”
“I will, Mommy. I always will.”
Now… forced to understand his responsibility in Lily’s transformation, he looked back at the past, at what had happened on the day when she’d first begun to heal. She’d been begging him to beat her, handle her crueller than he’d been able to stand. She needed more. Harder. Her pleading aggression had struck a nerve, and he’d gotten mad.
“Stop it, Lily. I don’twantto hurt you. Don’t you get it?”
“Please, Damon. Just a few times. I need it. You have to understand.”
“Well I don’t. Maybe it was fun at the beginning, but every time I pick up this paddle now, it makes me freak out a little more. I don’t get it… why it makes you feel so good.”
Angry at being questioned, Lily had grabbed the whipping device he’d thrown down. Maddened by the man she’d begun to love saying no to her, she acted out, slapping at him with the same paddle… yelling at the same time. “We have to do it this way. I’m a freak.” Slap.
“I’ve told you about my past.” Slap.
“You’re an asshole.” Slap.
“I hate you.” Slap.
Unable to take another hit, more angry than he could remember, he’d grabbed the weapon away from her hysterical grip and threw it aside. Then he’d tossed her on the bed. That day, he’d experienced the best sex of his life. Strange as it may seem, so did Lily. After their orgasms, they lay together entwined in a sweaty grip and faced the miracle together. “Lily, I don’t understand. What just happened?”
“Damon, I don’t know. You made me so angry at the thought of losing you, I guess I lost control. Why didn’t you stop me?”
“I couldn’t. For the first time in my life, I knew that I got what I deserved, and it felt redeeming somehow. I liked it… loved it… love you.”
“I love you too, Damon.” Lily had turned to him then, her face shining with a strange kind of peace. In a voice filled with shock, she agreed, “It felt good. Great. I liked it too. A lot. It’s the first time I’ve ever felt worthy. Like I could hit out and not just be a victim” She kissed him in a way she’d never managed before.
Once they broke apart, he spoke the words he’d been thinking. “You got off on being in control.”
Her head nodded on his chest. “Uh-huh.” A few seconds passed before she added, “I did.”
He lifted her damp hair from her forehead, caressing her gently. “Could it be you were hitting back at the creeps who hurt you?”
“Do you think so?”
“It makes a weird kind of sense.”
“Okay. But why didyoulike it?”
Damon had to dig deep so he could put in words the niggling fear that had lived inside him for so long. “I think it’s because I’m a bad boy.”
Chapter Nine
While Rachel and Hannah finished lunch at the café, the rescuers found a miracle under the rubble. A shocking discovery. They’d located a space that had somehow managed to escape from being totally destroyed. Once they’d dug deep enough, they came across a tunnel-like space and used all the tools they had to discover if humans survived. Listening equipment tracked suspicious sounds. Enough that they then brought out the thermal imaging device. A carbon dioxide detector was able to detect higher concentrations of CO2 in the confined space too, which pointed to a person breathing.
Unfortunately, the ground above and surrounding area were too unstable for the workers. Instead, they sent in ground robots to go further inside the wreckage. Excitement suddenly spired. The men had all but given up on finding anyone alive. Yet their machines told them differently. Definitely, a person had survived, and it was a matter of life and death to bring him or her out alive. Using ultra-sensitive seismic sensors to detectthe smallest sounds to pinpoint their exact location, the special teams got to work, and hope rose.
When Rachel’s phone beeped a message, she read it out loud, and the two women stared at each other in shock.
Hannah broke the tense silence. She opened her phone and frantically searched for a message. “There’s nothing. I didn’t get contacted. Do you know someone at the site… someone looking out for you?”
“Chief Kate Meadows. She works in our fire department. I’ve known her for years. She’s been wonderful about me hanging around and promised to notify me if anything happened.”
“It’s amazing. What if this means they’ve found a person still alive?”
