I snagged my handcuffs from the bed beside me and flung them at the Devil.
To my amusement, he didn’t bother to dodge, and I managed to smack him in the shoulder.
“For some reason, the women in my life keep throwing things at me. At least you’re not like my secretary. She likes throwing vases at my face lately.”
I scowled. “And the incident that landed me in the hospital?”
“Yes, the curse influenced that, in the form of the chosen hotel; it doesn’t just influence him. That the curse can influence my nephew is impressive—and part of the reason I’ve decided I am interfering. It is not originated from my pantheon—or our allied pantheons.”
“Christianity is allied with other pantheons?” I asked, frowning.
According to the Bible, the Christian way was the one true way, and no other divines were invited to the party.
“Yes, of course. You must remember, the Bible is a book by humans for humans—it is not trulyHisword.Hiswords were twisted, corrupted, or mistranslated over thousands of years. Some of the stories are true—at the core. But outside of a few notable exceptions, the words are no longerHis. Can you guess which ones?”
“I could make a guess at which one I hope is the truth,” I replied. “But I’m not a Christian. I’m not anything, really.”
“Hedoesn’t care about that in the slightest.Heis all about deeds. I don’t care what religion someone was before they come to my hells. And my hells aren’t just limited to the beliefs of one pantheon. It’s all connected. Right now, the Greeks and Egyptians are leaving soul rehabilitation to me. They had their time in the sun and deserve a break—and I enjoyed my rest for the years they ran the hells. But, which words do you hope are true?”
“The ones about the walk through the valley of the shadow of death. Death is scary enough without having to go at it alone. Companionship seems like something that would ease the way.”
“And that’s why many cling to their religions. It is that fear of death that so often drives them. But yes, that part of the Bible is true enough. The curse is not originated from any ofHisreligions, nor is it Greek or Egyptian in origin,” the Devil announced.
“Hehas more than one religion?” I blurted.
“Humanity structures religion,” the Devil chided. “Heis the soul of quite a few religions. Humanity has just givenHima different name. They’ve also given me a different name. Really, it doesn’t matter in the end. All souls go to the same places when they’re done on the mortal coil. If I’m not sleeping on the job, I handle it. If I am sleeping on the job, the Egyptians, Greeks, or one of the divines handles it. Usually, I take care of it. Why waste the effort when my system works well for rehabilitation? There were a few instances I slept for a few months and nobody noticed I wasn’t doing anything. I’ve organized my many hells to continue on without me as necessary. But things happen. Sometimes, a divine will ask for a soul for personal reasons. I’ll often toss those sinners over to the requester. If one of the other divine comes out of retirement because someone offended them that much, it’s not worth the fuss. I’ll check to make sure the balance won’t be disturbed, but as long as that criteria is met, the soul earned its fate, and penance can be done in many ways.”
I would need a lot of time and copious amounts of alcohol to think through the ramifications of his words. “So, you’re saying we need to look at other religions to find a divine who may have cast this curse on Mr. Mortan?”
“Precisely.”
I eyed the man, who listened to the Devil with a raised brow. After a few moments, he said, “I don’t think I have done anything to deserve the attention of a divine from any religion.”
“You haven’t, but one of your ancestors did. Or more than one. I’m truly not sure. I haven’t looked deeply into it. What I have gleaned, I did to balance the scales on behalf of some of my devils and demons with the NYPD. It’s a good arrangement. But long-term consequences happen. Take my little cupcake of a daughter. Everything she is is a consequence, mostly of those long gone. Her other father regrets some of the consequences she faces, but he has always done what was best for her despite the pesky predetermined fates surrounding their bloodline. Some of them were changed for the better, but some are predetermined for a good reason, so we let those continue unobstructed—and at times, we protected them.” The Devil shrugged. “You aren’t even an intentional target, although there are those who have taken notice of how death has changed you.”
Alec turned to me. “Tell me something completely inappropriate but funny, please. I think I’ve reached my general threshold for this.”
Inappropriate but funny? I considered his request, eyed the files taking over most of the bed, and replied, “I bet I could have the best closure rate for murders if I followed you around for a few months. I’d be able to chase down the killers right at the scene of the crime and have fresh material to work with—all without the crime scene being polluted before I arrived. I may not be an experienced detective, but I’ve heard that complaint enough to understand it’s a problem I will face in the upcoming years.”
Alec blinked, and his eyes widened. “That’s brilliant. Youcouldapprehend these murderers better if you happened to be there when the crime occurred.”
“That wasn’t funny, though. Useful, but not funny.” I frowned. “I don’t do funny all that well, I guess. I turned down an incubus to work. Now that’s funny.”
“No, that’s just sad,” the Devil muttered. “And, honestly, impressive. You really turned down one hell of a ride so you could work for somebody who treated you like shit just because you have breasts rather than balls.”
Well, I could trust the Devil to be upfront with his thoughts at least. I shrugged. “I love the job but dislike the former boss. But my job is worth dealing with a bad boss. It seems I now have better bosses.”
“I could hire you,” the Devil said, narrowing his eyes.
“No, but thank you. I will take my chances with the unicorns, however crazy they may seem.”
Jacobson snickered. “Wise decision, McMarin. Just wait until you get a chance to meet his secretary. It’s a coin toss if she tries to murder him. She never succeeds, but it’s a treat watching her try to eliminate him. She gives it her all, too. If Bailey tries to take him out, it involves ineffective flailing. Samuel tried once, but he got his ass kicked so Bailey could nurse him back to health.”
The Devil sighed. “Why do I shower those two with favor? Oh, right. The one is my nephew, and I have to be nice to my nephew. He whines if I’m mean to him, and I hate the whining. He whined for amonthafter I reminded him who and what I am. The other is my prized cindercorn, and I can’t just let my prized cindercorn suffer.” Heaving a dramatic sigh, the Devil regarded me with a pout. “But I like feisty women working for me.”
I understood Alec’s desire for humor; a break from the relentless bullshit plaguing my life would be appreciated, but I foresaw many frustrating days ahead of me.
“I don’t care,” I informed the Devil. “I enjoy my job.”
