Just like I thought, Card was at the table, rocked back in a chair, his eyes closed, looking beautiful.
“Ready?” I asked, my voice a little gruff.
He opened his eyes and, for a moment, his pupils were huge and filled with stars. “What happened upstairs? Were you talking to someone?”
“When my life becomes your business, I’ll add you to my newsletter list.”
The corner of his mouth quirked. “I’m already signed up. I used a fake name.”
“Nope. I deleted Dumbass McDumberson last month.”
“Well that explains why I haven’t gotten the latest issue.”
“You think we’ll need weapons?” I asked.
“Maybe. Better prepared than caught unaware.”
“Okay, then let’s swing by the mud room before we go.”
His whole face lit up. “Sure.” He pushed away from the table and stood. “Swing away. After you.”
He followed me to the room where I kept the weapons that were safe enough to handle. The really dangerous weapons, the ones that could turn the moon into mashed potatoes, or create time traveling frog overlords, were locked in the danger cupboard.
Card whistled softly as he entered the room. “You’ve been busy while I was gone.”
I glanced at the swords, daggers, axes, spears, guns, wands, amulets, tablets, rings, lightning rods, and crystals covering the walls, chests of drawers, and tables. The collection had, indeed, grown.
“Everyone needs a hobby.”
“Lots of ways to kill a person here, Ricks. Must be hard to choose,” he said. “I suppose instead of choosing your weapon, you could just invite people into the room and let them pick up something. Lure them to their death.”
“Maybe I’ll install a chute to the basement in here,” I mused.
Card paused, his hands carefully locked behind his back, the whole of him bent toward a set of very old wands that vibrated with magic.
“For the bodies?” he asked without looking my way.
“For the bodies,” I agreed. I scanned the room, wondering which weapons I should take, and decided on my tried and true: battle axe and short sword.
I hefted the axe off the wall. It was a beautiful weapon made by a royal smith from the kingdom of the Fae. She had a knack for carving fire and starlight into the curved blade’s spellwork and had done a hell of a job with this axe.
I secured it in the holster and slung the leather strap over my shoulder. I repeated the actions with my berserker short sword. Unlike the axe, the short sword’s magic wasn’t noticeable or activated until it drank blood.
“You could just adopt a hungry hell hound,” Card suggested.
“For the bodies?”
He’d been studying me and didn’t do a thing to hide it. I raised an eyebrow, not caring what was putting that appreciative look in his eyes.
“For the bodies,” he agreed.
I buckled and adjusted the belt at my hips. “Or I could just stop letting people into the place who I’d have to kill.”
He inclined his head. “But where’s the fun in that?”
“The fun is that there is no mess. I like things orderly. I like them in their place. I like things...”
“Boring?”
