Mal couldn’t help her mouth falling open in surprise when the waiter departed and LeeAnne closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose, giving an exasperated sigh.
“This is only going to get worse,” she muttered.
“You know you said that out loud, right?” Mal asked.
The housekeeper glared and Mal shrugged. “Just asking. You don’t usually say stuff like that.”
“Not that you know anything about me,” LeeAnne said frostily then sighed again. “But you’re right. This time.”
That had both Mal and Law staring.
“Are you sick?” Law asked.
“I could use a vacation. Somewhere warm with sand, blue ocean, and nobody around.”
Mal could sympathize. How did a housekeeper vacation, anyhow? Could she? Law couldn’t go more than a few miles from Effrayant before he had to come back or else end up in paralyzing pain. Sand and a blue ocean were totally off the table for him, at least until his contract expired. Was it the same for LeeAnne?
Even though Effrayant was a luxurious resort, vacationing at work wasn’t exactly relaxing. If she did, who would cover her duties?
“Sorry,” Mal said, completely serious.
LeeAnne eyed her and nodded. The waiter set a plate of pastries on the table along with a bowl of fruit. He set out plates and forks then took off as though his ass were on fire. Serving the boss had to be stressful. Both of them at the same table had to be heart attack inducing.
With perfect housekeeper courtesy, LeeAnne motioned for Mal to serve herself, then Law, before she took both a chocolate croissant and an éclair.
“I’d like to hire you,” LeeAnne declared bluntly as she picked up her knife and fork to cut the éclair.
Who did that? Pastries were supposed to be eaten with fingers. The thought ran through Mal’s brain before LeeAnne’s words registered.
“You already did. Last night.”
“All right. I want to keep you on the payroll for a while.”
Mal’s eyes narrowed. “Doing what?”
“Pixie and giant wrangler. Specifically, I want you to make sure the bride and groom make it to and through the ceremony, alive and reasonably whole.”
“That’s my job,” Law pointed out as he drummed his fingers on the table.
“That’s true. You also have to keep the whole lot of giants and pixies from starting a war inside Effrayant, on top of all your other duties,” LeeAnne said. “Mal will provide an added layer of security. A bodyguard, if you will.”
“So she answers to me.” He didn’t phrase it as a question.
“No,” both LeeAnne and Mal said in unison; then Mal glanced at the other woman in surprise.
“All three of us know she isn’t going to take orders from anybody, so why pretend?” LeeAnne said, taking another bite of her pastry. “The two of you used to work together and quite well, from what I understand, so hopefully you still have the knack of it.” She looked at Mal. “If you like, you can invite your demon friend to join you.”
“Not a chance,” Mal said, not even having to think about it.
She’d accidentally bound herself to a very powerful, very annoying demon—more annoying even than LeeAnne. When it had happened, she’d sworn she was never going to command him; she wasn’t going to be forced to be a slaveowner, so she’d told him to go away and live his life and leave her alone. So’la had demanded that she summon him if she was in trouble since if one of them died, the other one did too, and she was far more vulnerable than he. She’d agreed, but she’d lied. And even if she hadn’t, she wasn’t in trouble and she didn’t need any help. He could merrily continue doing whatever he was doing, which probably involved ’round-the-clock orgies with anything that moved. So’la wasnotdiscriminating.
LeeAnne shrugged. “Suit yourself. This has every chance of turning into a royal clusterfuck. The more hands on deck, the less chance of that happening. I’m sure that won’t be the last glitter bomb we see before this is over, and that’s the least of our likely problems.”
Hearing the word “clusterfuck” come out of LeeAnne’s mouth shook Mal’s sense of reality. Had she stepped into a TV sitcom? An alternate universe?
“I seriously don’t get it,” she said. “If you know all that, why let them have the wedding at Effrayant at all?”
“I can’t refuse anyone who wants to stay and follows the protocols,” LeeAnne said with a grimace. “It’s in my oath as housekeeper. Plus auburges were designed to be neutral ground for antagonistic parties. Unfortunately, the pixies have every right to our hospitality. I cannot refuse them.”
