Not terrible. But also alarming.
Beta’s blood pressure is elevating.
It takes more concentration than I want to admit, to focus on trying to push her off of me. Because I don’twantto, and that itself is worth documenting.
Beta is experiencing a new feeling altogether, that’s for sure.
“Well, I suppose it could be worse,” I say, my heart thudding so loud in my chest, I think she can hear it. “For the record, you smell good, too.” I give her a nervous smile as I try to recall my training. “Like sticky cinnamon rolls.” I can’t purr, but…
I can change the tenor of my voice to something lower, so she is forced to listen.
So that’s what I do. I lower my voice, trying to catch her focus.
Auryn presses her chest against me and whines. “Your favorite food, right?”
Her voice is dark, thick with feral lust, and I realize all at once Gage was more than right to ask me to bring her suppressant. Because as that sweet, sticky cinnamon scent hits me along with that tart lemongrass, I know one thing is for sure:
What I’m observing is her heat. Firsthand.
I’ve studied omegas for years. I know everything there is to know about them. From the rare presentation cases to the rising issues in omega fertility, it’s my job to know.
I’ve encountered plenty of omegas as part of the team. But none of those omegas ever acted the way Auryn is acting. Not a single omega has ever pinned me against a wall. Not a single omega has ever given me a second look beyond disdain because I’m not an alpha. I’m a beta. Auryn should not be looking at me like this, should not be touching me like this, heat or no heat.
My body doesn’t respond to omegas in heat. It never has. Honestly, my body’s never responded toanyone.
At least…it hasn’t until right now, and that itself is both terrifying and intriguing.
Beta is responding to omega’s heat. Symptoms include elevated heartbeat, blood pressure, and…
I swallow as my dick hardens beneath my scrubs.
I need to push this…whateverthisis aside and be objective.
She pulls back for a second, looking up at me with those dilated eyes, her body small and warm against me, and everything around me just…quiets.
There’s a strange sort of ache in my chest that beckons me to hold on instead of push. It’s really hard to fight, so I don’t. I squeeze her hip where my hand is settled and try to breathe.
“Auryn…” I say her name shakily. “Tell me what you’re feeling.”
Because I’m freaking out right now, and I need to focus on something other than the hardness in my damn pants or the sweet scent of cinnamon that’s making my mouth water.
She cocks her head to the side, and the scent of cinnamon invades my lungs. I’m acutely aware of how close she is, pressed against me.
Against my dick.
And because I’m not in enough of a scenario, that is the moment it decides to twitch of its own accord, voicing what I can’t say out loud, or even in my own thoughts.
Beta is scared.
I squirm because the very action makes me feel flustered. Sure, I experience erections like the rest of my pack does—though not as frequently as they probably do—but the one thing I’ve always loved about this pack is that weareomegaless. We’ve operated just fine for years without one. Diego and Gage help one another out. Emmett’s never been quiet about how much he jerks off, so I’m pretty sure he’s fine, and me…
Well, I didn’t have to worry about that sort of thing, because it was a relief that I didn’t have to explain myself to anyone. I could just…be me. Take care of my needs if they arose. “If” being the operative word.
Because in the seven years I’ve been with the pack, those needs rarely presented themself. I can count on one hand how many times I have actually masturbated while being at this compound, and I’ve only ever done it as a means to an end. So I could focus on doing my job.
But beneath Auryn, it seems, something is different, and I can’t process that.
I don’twantto process that.
