I swing my legs over the side of Olly’s bed, noting as I do so, Gage’s gaze follows me. I grab Olly’s clothes on the floor and slide them on. The overpowering smell of rain and earth hits me, calming like a thunderstorm. I pad my way slowly over to Gage, never dropping his gaze. I meet him at the doorway, looking up at him questioningly. For a moment we just stand there, sizing one another up. I know a look of assessment when I see one. When an alpha looks at you, trying to figure out if you’re worth the trouble. Part of me thinks he will realize I’m not worth the trouble.
I’m a broken alpha who’s been hijacked with omega genes. Who should, according to Olly, on all accounts, not even be walking right now. I’m an escapee, a fugitive of sorts. All I am is trouble, and he would be right to tell me to leave. I’ve brought nothing but pain and blood to his doorstep.
But he says nothing. He simply steps aside to give me space to exit the room. Wordlessly, I take the invitation, hoping I’m not making the wrong decision here. I want to be in my nest. I want to be curled around Emmett, breathing in his sweet cherry-vanilla scent that I don’t want to lose. I want to be held by my kind beta who, despite being a beta, shields me and protects me from the vicious thoughts and mental enemies that threaten to hurt me from the inside.
A moment later, Gage motions for me to follow him. He doesn’t say a word, and I think perhaps someone should tell this man what talking actually means.
Part of me wants to protest, but it thinks this really is it. I’m being asked to leave. Olly was wrong.
I can’t crumble in front of Gage. I have to be strong. I can’t be weak, even though I want to be.
Weak omegas are cared for. Loved. Broken omegas give big strong alphas a need. They fill a void in more ways than one.
But Emmett told me once I was not weak, and I believed him. He told me I’m awarrior, and I fucking believed him, and now I think he’s poisoned me, too.
So, I let Gage lead me through the dark compound to the Jeep.
Yup, this is it.
There’s no way this ends well, and I sigh, feeling defeated as Gage opens the passenger door for me.
I stare at the seat, my chest tightening. I could race back in and grab my beta, my alpha. But Gage probably would retaliate, and I don’t want him to hurt them. They were here first. They don’t deserve his wrath because of me.
I push the threatening tears back, not wanting to show my weakness. God, I wish I would have kissed them goodbye.
Will they try to come for me? I should have told them to stay. Ordered them, but I didn’t.
Because I don’t know how to order anyone. I don’t know how to be an alpha. I don’t know how to be an omega either.
I don’t know how to be anything other than a survivor.
So that’s what I focus on: surviving. I step up into the Jeep, and Gage lifts me, giving me a boost.
How noble of him. Helping me to my demise. Probably so he feels better about himself in the long run.
Look how nice I was. I treated her so well. Too bad she wasn’t an omega.
I take my seat, and he buckles me in. I move to push him away, because I can do it myself, but his hand is stronger. He fights off my push easily and finishes buckling me in before shutting the door and getting in the driver’s side. My heart pounds away in my chest, and time moves slowly. I watch as he gets in his seat, buckles himself in. Shuts his door. Starts the car.
Neither of us say a word as he takes off, the crunch of gravel beneath the car an echo in the darkness.
I want to speak, but I can’t find the words. I watch him intently, for any small sign that will clue me in to how this will go.
To his nature, he doesn’t look at me. How can he now that he knows the truth?
Probably doesn’t want to do this anymore than I do. No, if I were truly an alpha, I’d understand. But all I understand is that I’m not enough, and I’ll never be enough.
I thought I’d found somewhere safe, somewhere good. But like everything else in my life, I just didn’t meet the criteria. To the Orions I wasn’t enough, which is why they tried to alter me.
To Gage and his pack…I thought I was enough, but turns out I’m not omega enough for them, either.
The trees hover over us as I realize when the car stops we are in the woods.
Fuck.
The moonlight shines through the forest, hitting the windshield. Gage quietly gets out of his driver’s side and opens my door. He moves to unbuckle me, and I growl, swatting at his hand.
“I can do it myself,” I grit through my teeth, and he holds his hand up.
