Because for the first time in my life, I wanted to be.
10
MICAH
The rest of the night blurred into something shapeless.
I sat on the sofa in the suite, remote in hand, flipping through channels without seeing any of them. Sports. News. Some reality show where people yelled at each other over manufactured drama. None of it stuck.
My mind was elsewhere.
On a blonde woman who talked about flowers like they mattered.
On the way she'd looked at me through that shop window—recognition, surprise, something else I couldn't name.
On the fact that I'd run like a coward instead of doing what any normal person would do, which was literally anything other than bolt.
I finally settled on the History Channel. A documentary about Genghis Khan. Conquest. Strategy. The kind of ruthless efficiency that built empires out of blood and will.
That, I could watch.
The narrator's voice droned on about the Mongol Horde, about tactics and terrain and the way Khan had reshaped theworld through sheer force. I leaned back against the sofa, eyes half-closed, letting the words wash over me.
At some point, I fell asleep.
I woke to the sound of a too-enthusiastic voice promising solutions for erectile dysfunction.
My eyes opened slowly, vision adjusting to the blue glow of the television. An infomercial. Some doctor in a lab coat grinning like he'd discovered fire, talking about blood flow and confidence and reclaiming your life.
I reached for the remote and turned it off, the room plunging into silence.
Then I became aware of my body.
Specifically, the rock-hard erection straining against my jeans.
I sat there for a moment, jaw tight, trying to will it away through sheer force of irritation.
It didn't work.
Of course, it didn't.
Because my subconscious had spent the night replaying every detail of her—Joy—and my body had responded accordingly, even while I was unconscious.
I rubbed a hand over my face and glanced at the clock on the table.
6:46 AM.
I'd slept through the night.
That almost never happened. I usually woke every few hours, instincts trained to stay alert even when I was supposedly safe. Hazards of the calling.
But somehow, last night, I'd dropped into sleep so deep I hadn't stirred once.
My phone sat on the table beside the clock, screen dark.
I picked it up and saw a message waiting.
How the hell had I missed it?
