This was pathetic. Stupid. Dangerous.
But I couldn't stop.
I imagined her wide eyes looking up at me—not with fear, but with want. That soft mouth parted, breath coming fast as I crowded her against the counter in that flower shop and made her forget every polite word she'd ever learned.
I imagined stripping her out of her clothes. Slowly. Watching her blush spread down her neck, across her chest, as I took my time learning every inch of her.
I imagined the way she'd feel beneath me. Soft. Warm. Trembling as I pushed inside her, inch by inch, breaking through whatever innocence she still carried and claiming it for myself.
The thought pushed me over the edge.
I came hard, one hand braced against the tile, breath hissing through my teeth.
When it was over, I stood there under the spray, head bowed, feeling nothing but shame.
She had a name now.
Joy.
And I was already ruining her in my head.
I dried off, dressed, and sat on the sofa with the laptop again, staring at the closed lid.
How long before I had something to do, something else to think about?
Before I officially became part of whatever Dominion Hall was.
And if I did—if I signed on—I'd have to stay away from her. Completely.
No walking past her shop. No looking her up online. No letting my mind wander to places it had no business going.
She wasn't mine to think about.
Wasn't mine to want.
And she sure as hell wasn't mine to ruin.
I opened the laptop one last time, pulled up a blank document, and typed a single line.
Stay away from Joy McKinley.
Then I deleted the line, closed the laptop and walked away.
Commitment made.
Even if I didn't believe it yet.
9
JOY
By the time I locked the front door of McKinley Flowers, the bell inside had gone silent and the shop looked like it was holding its breath.
Britney had already left, her ponytail bouncing as she waved and promised she’d be back early. I’d watched her disappear down the sidewalk and told myself that was that.
Workday over. Mind back in its lane.
But my body didn’t seem to understand lanes anymore.
