“You’re a lunatic!” Amber screamed over the noise. “Savannah was my friend. I didn’t do any of the things you just accused me of. I’m going to sue you for de-fame-ation!”
I curled an arm around Christy’s waist, popped my head over her shoulder, looked Amber straight in her evil eyes, and said, “It’s defamation. And good luck with that since she’ll besuing you for harassment, copyright infringement, libel, and slander, just for starters.” Then I dragged Christy backward off the bleachers. My expression was as hard as I could make it to get everyone out of my way. Because I was not slowing down. Not until she and I were far away from here.
“Holden, put me down,” she said, her legs flailing. “Holden!” she yelled as we came through the exit door and out into the parking lot. “Look, I’m sorry if you’re mad. But please put me down.”
“Mad?” I guffawed. I set her on her feet but latched my hand around her wrist, pulling her along behind me. Once we were finally around the corner, I pinned her against the brick wall, my arms on either side so she couldn’t escape. She looked up at me, her big brown eyes so beautiful, but a touch afraid. She didn’t need to be.
“Woman, what in the world?” My hands slid up to either side of her neck. Her heartbeat was still firing off like the rat-a-tat-tat of bullets.
Her eyes turned down, ashamed. “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you. But I couldn’t take it anymore.”
“Embarrassed?” I stepped back, now that I was semi-confident she wouldn’t run. “I’m not embarrassed. I’m…” My hands shoved into my hair.
I didn’t know what I was. An idiot, for starters. Christy didn’t need my protection. She was a heat-seeking missile and I hoped to always be on the right side of that fury. This was no self-deprecating seventeen-year-old girl. That was the moment I realized, all this time, I’d been putting Savannah’s struggles on Christy like they were the same person. Whether I’d meant to or not, I’d made her carry Savannah’s cross.
I was sick in my soul.
In two steps I was back, my arms around her waist. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Why, so you’d confront her? That’s exactly what shewanted. And I didn’t want to give you any reason to be near her.”
What?
She’d been protectingme?
This woman was unreal.
I let my forehead fall against hers, breathing her in like I always did. I didn’t know what was happening in that gym, but out here, it was nothing but overwhelming peace.Shewas where I belonged. And who I belonged with. She always had been. And if I had stopped listening to my dueling shoulder devil and shoulder angel, maybe I would’ve realized that months ago.
“I…”Love youalmost rolled off my tongue, and I had to pull it back. She wasn’t ready to hear it. Instead, I went with, “I’m crazy about you. You’re nuts.” I laughed. “Totally nuts. And I’m ridiculously crazy about you. Just incredible.”
But she wasn’t sharing in my elation.
Pain was evident on her face. Then she pushed my sleeve up and traced the tattoo I’d gotten a few months into my freshman year of college. These days, I forgot it was there most of the time. She pressed a soft kiss to it, which made my gut purr.
She looked up, her doe eyes so sad. “I’m crazy about you too. But it doesn’t change anything.”
Then she slipped her phone out of my pocket, dipped under my arm, and walked away.
But she was wrong.
Tonight, she’d changed everything.
twenty-two
CHRISTY
The cool grass was making my legs itch. I needed to get up and get in my truck. I had a billion things to do before I headed to the school to help Holden coach the first Riverbend district tournament game. But I kind of didn’t want to leave the peace of this place. My head was clear here.
I’d come to Savannah’s grave, at a small Baptist church on a back road on the north side of town, at least four times since Lemon had pointed me to the Google search. I didn’t have many friends in Seddledowne, and I knew nothing about the girl who’d died a decade ago, but the fact that we’d loved the same man made me feel connected to her in some inexplicable occult sort of way. Even if he had loved her more.
I sat, legs crossed, next to her headstone. Not on top of her grave, which looked way more comfy. Someone took very good care of it, keeping it fertilized, weeded, and carefully trimmed. I didn’t know if it was true, what people said, but I’d always heard that if you walked on a grave, it was disrespectful to the deceased. And this girl deserved all the respect.
My hands cupped my phone, and I groaned in frustration. “This is what I’m talking about,” I said to Savannah as if she were sitting next to me, looking at the screen. “He’s so confusing, and I don’t know if I can trust him. Is this real? Or will he change it next week when he has another freakout?” I’m sure I looked ridiculous, talking to nobody, and if a stranger saw me, they might want to get me checked out. But my frustration was legitimate. Holden had lavender roses delivered yesterday. And there was a card that said,I’m sorry I panicked and ruined everything between us. You’ll never know how sorry. I hope, in time, you’ll trust me again.
And then there were his social media profiles.
Holden had untagged himself from every one of those stupid date photos back when we officially started going out. For real, not fake. But just yesterday, still one hundred percent broken up, I realized he’d unfriended more than two thousand people until there was nothing left but guys and relatives. He hadn’t left a single female other than Anna and Lemon. And me. Which was insane. Sweet, but insane. Because there was no way some of those women weren’t just friends. He was making a statement. He knew I’d be checking. And he was right. I couldn’t imagine how many of those women had messaged him when he’d disappeared from their feed. I’m sure there had been plenty. A thought I didn’t want to entertain.
