“Shhhh,” Mom said in a deafening whisper. “She’s not supposed to know he called.”
My hand flew out, and I sat up, ramrod straight. “Excuse me, what? Holden called you guys?”
Mom whacked him again. “See what you did now?”
“Mom, if you don’t stop hitting Dad I’m hanging up. Did Holden call you guys?”
“Yes,” was all she said.
“When?”
“The other day,” she said barely loud enough for me to hear.
“Be more specific.” I was losing it with the teeth pulling. The game was about to start.
“Sunday, honey,” Dad admitted. “A couple of hours after Ari announced on that Facebook website that she was naming the baby Madeleine Rose.”
Two days ago. Which was twelve days after I’d shoved him off the mini-cliff. This was becoming more of a head scratcher the further it went.
“Why did he call?” was my next question.
“Well.” Mom started. “He had several things to say.”
I rolled my wrist, willing her to speed up. “Such as?”
“I can’t,” Mom said in her prissy voice. The one she got whenever someone found a dead mouse in the basement andshe refused to be the one to remove it. “I will not repeat his words.”
My brow crinkled. What on earth? “Spill it. My girls are about to play. I want every word, verbatim.”
A couple of seconds of undecipherable hissing back and forth and then Dad started, “Basically, he said three things. First, that it was bullcrap—only he didn’t use that word—the way we handled things when Rowan and Gabby got together. And that you should’ve been allowed to come home early and whatever the hell else you wanted.” Mom hissed something in the background. Dad continued, “I’m sorry but he definitely used the word hell. I remember that very clearly.” My hand was over my mouth. “And secondly, to make sure that Ari knew that she could use the name Madeleine Rose if she wanted—because you can’t copyright a name—but if she did, there would be two Madeleine Rose’s in this family whenever you two had your first baby girl. And he didn’t care if it pissed her off. And to get over it because sheknewthat was your name. And she was just being a jealous…your mom won’t let me repeat that one.”
My jaw was on the floorboard. “Hold up.” My brain was racing. There were so many things I wanted to pick apart. But first things first. “He said the two of us?”
“Like twenty times. Why is that surprising?” Mom finally spoke. I’d never told them we broke up. I didn’t want to deal with the fallout. But why would Holden say all of that like we had some kind of future together? “Anyway, that man swears like a trucker. Are you sure you want to marry him? You’ll be washing your kid’s mouths out on a daily basis.”
I never said I wanted to marry him. But her mention of it wasn’t a surprise. Mom’s brain went straight to marriage no matter who we dated.Are you sure you really want to marry a future game warden? You’ll be poor for the rest of your life.That had been Gabby’s freshman-year boyfriend.Are you sure youwant to marry a guy with the last name Tucker? That could go wrong in so many ways.Ari’s first boyfriend in seventh grade.Are you sure you want to marry a boy from Virginia? That’s so far from Wyoming.She’d said when I first told her about Silas.
“He only swears when he’s really mad,” I said. He saidthe two of usliketwenty times?I was still hung up on that. Had he not heard what I’d said before I walked away? I gazed out the window as people walked into the game. “Okay. What was the third thing?”
“Oh.” Dad chuckled. “The third was him threatening us with our lives if we ever told you that he called and said all those things. I guess we kind of botched that.”
“I’d say.” I smiled for the first time that day. “And what did Ari say when you told her about the baby name?”
Dad laughed loudly. “Oh, well, talk about swearing like a trucker.”
“Is she still using the baby name though?” That’s what really mattered.
“I doubt it,” Mom said. “But Christy, why didn’tyousay anything when she told you she was using it?”
Seriously? The way she said it irked me. Like she was in total shock. Like I was expected to express my feelings in this family. Had she not paid attention all these years? “Because, Mom. I’m Christianna. The oldest. The one who bends to what everyone else wants. I always do the right thing. I always apologize first and bow out of an argument to keep the peace and give up my seat at the table and give up my bed when Grandma visits. I fold the laundry, do the dishes, drive the youngers to all their lessons and I’m the one who had to get straight A’s. Even while Gabby and Ari were flunking Biology and Pre-Algebra.”
My parents must’ve been stunned speechless because there was only silence as a response.
I took it as an invitation to continue. “Because that’s whatyou wanted, Mom. When Gabby and Rowan announced they were together on the Maui trip, you made me suck it up. And when I said it was too much and I didn’t want to come to the wedding, you made me the Maid of Honor. Because you don’t care about my feelings. You never have.”
“Oh, honey,” Mom said, crying. “That’s not true.”
I don’t know what had gotten into me. Maybe it was something in the water here. Maybe it was because I’d already disappointed them when I got caught on the shirtless kissing cam. But I’d had enough of all the bullcrap. If I wanted to be different, to have a man who respected me, it started with me. I had to respect myself. And today seemed as good a day as any to begin.
