I texted Lemon back.
Me: Yes, leaving now.
I quickly changed and headed to an address she’d sent me yesterday.
I was late. I’d taken too long to decide to come and what to wear. I parked my truck next to Silas’s, hopped out, and jogged down the trail, wishing I’d worn leggings instead. The wind was chilly for October. But after I got moving, I’d be happy I’d chosen something lighter.
I came up on the group so quietly that no one noticed. Then I smiled, in awe. One of Silas’s friends, a guy named Knox Freeman, had an obstacle training course set up on his farm—a spear throw, rings, rope climb, and other things I didn’t know the names of. And a running trail that disappeared into the woods. He’d spent a lot of time building this. And it was super generous of him to let everyone practice here.
A quick count told me there were eleven people besides me. Silas was teaching Lemon how to hold the spear. Then, with his hand over hers, they launched it at a hay bale with a spray-painted target. It landed inside the circle and I smiled. It was crazy to think I’d ever been broken up about that man. And now I was totally happy watching him with his gorgeous wife.
It had occurred to me recently that I was no better than my mom when it came to finding reasons to marry someone. I’d liked Silas. He’d been my best friend. But love? Hardly. I’d wanted to get married and he was a great guy. Had I thought I loved him? Yes. Or I’d told myself I had. But important things were missing in our relationship. Passion, for one. And the ability to communicate without us both getting flustered.Two pretty important things needed to make a lifelong commitment work.
You don’t get over love as quickly as I had. Not if it’s real.
A sick thought pitted my stomach. What if I’d married Silas and we’d never known what real love was? An even more terrible thought—what if I’d watched Holden from afar my whole marriage and felt for him what I do now? It would’ve been like a bad nightmare, only you wake up every day and it’s real.
It was like Gabby and Rowan’s cheesy first dance song, “Unanswered Prayers.” At the wedding, that song had sent me into a fit, sobbing in the coat room when no one was looking. But now, I got it. Holden was my cheesy love song.
Holden. Who was currently swinging across the rings like Tarzan, biceps popping out of his shirt.
Standing here, my eyes flitting over everyone and the obstacles they were conquering, made me cave in a little. I didn’t know how to run an obstacle course race. They made it look easy, but I was certain none of this was in my wheelhouse.
“Hey.” Lemon walked up wearing the leggings I wished I had. “Glad you could make it.”
Silas was right behind her. I was thankful they were both tall, forming a wall between me and Holden. I wasn’t ready for him to see me yet.
“Did you look up Savannah?” Silas asked, studying me.
I scratched my temple. “Yeah. It’s…” My hand pressed against my chest. “Heartbreaking. The obituary said she was bullied to death?”
He rubbed his neck. “Yeah. Basically. Suicide isn’t murder. She chose to do that to herself. But yes, she was pushed to her limits. No doubt.” I wanted to ask who the bully was, but it didn’t feel like the time. Or maybe Silas wasn’t who I needed to ask.
I hugged myself and rubbed my arms covered ingoosebumps. “That must’ve been so hard. I can’t believe he had to go through that.”
Silas rubbed his jaw. “It was. And clearly, he’s still got scars. And if you’re not up for this, that’s okay.”
I scowled and laughed to cover my smarting cheeks. “You think I can’t handle this?”
“I know you can. But do youwantto? It might be harder than you realize. It probably will be. Like today, he’s in a foul mood. That’s what he does when he’s hurting. He covers it up by being a douche.”
I looked past them at all the obstacles. Holden was flying across those rings again, oblivious to me invading his hobby. “If you’re talking about this race, I don’t know.”
Lemon put a hand on my arm. “Don’t worry. It’s only a 5K and you don’t have to run the whole thing. You can walk some of it if you need to. I might have to. I’ve never done this before.”
“Me neither,” Silas admitted.
“Hold up. Neither of you have done one of these?”
They shook their heads.
“Why are we doing this then?” I hissed. Even though Silas could probably hop up and run a 5K without ever training.
Silas pursed his lips, eyes wide likeuse your head, Christy.
It was all about Operation Save Holden From Himself. They weren’t doing this insane-looking race for fun. They were doing it soIwould.
I shook my head. “You Duprees are something else.”
