She snorted. “I don’t believe that for a second. Thewantis all over your face.” My cheeks were smarting. I could feel them. She patted me on the right one. “You’re a good guy, Holdie. Any woman would be lucky to have you. But you need to believe it yourself.” She pressed a hand to my lower back and spurred me forward.
We stepped around the grill and I was uncomfortably aware that Amber had a clear shot of me and Lemon. At least Lemon was safe now that she was married to Silas. Amber wouldn’t touch that. But the skin on my left cheek felt like it was melting from her evil stare. I hadn’t and I wouldn’t make eye contact. But her devious glare was pulling at me like invisibletentacles, trying to make me. I turned away and forked a tomato slice. Lemon took that opportunity to step around me, putting a wall between us.
“You want baked beans, right?” she whispered.
I nodded.
“What about salads?”
“Potato.”
“I gotchu.” Then she slapped me on the back and gave me a little shove in the opposite direction. Back toward Christy.
“Hey, Lemon,” Jilly said. “Congrats on your marriage, girl. I always thought you two would make a cute couple.” Her voice trailed off as I escaped.
But when I got to the table, I already knew Lemon was wrong. It wasn’t safe for me to love someone again. Because there was gorgeous, petite Christy, barking out orders to the JV team with a confidence that reminded me of another woman I used to know.
A girl, really.
Beautiful, kind, and confident too.
I’d loved that girl with all my heart. And she’d loved me back with wild abandon. But when I’d tried to shake her loose, for her own good, she’d hung on even tighter. And stupid, naive, teenage Holden had thought she was right. The tighter we held to each other, the safer we would be.
But clinging had done just the opposite. And instead of saving us, the darkness had wound and tightened and choked until our light was snuffed out.
I looked back over my shoulder and just as I suspected, Amber was watching me from the food table, eyes narrowed.
No. I couldn’t do that to Christy.
I wouldn’t.
ten
CHRISTY
It was my fault and mine alone. I knew that. I was the one who’d conned The Kissing Bandit into being my fake boyfriend. And I was the one who’d pushed for more intense snuggling. I wasn’t even waiting for my family to ask anymore. I was just making stuff up, cuddling for hours, hands all over each other all willy-nilly like there were no consequences whatsoever.
And now the consequences were here.
I sat at the table, watching Holden go through the food line, chatting it up with Lemon after he’d shaken me off like a spiderweb he’d stumbled into. What did I expect?
It was just like the old scorpion and fox story. The fox knows what the scorpion is but gets talked into letting him ride on his back across the lake anyway. And when the scorpion stings him, the fox has the audacity to be shocked. But the scorpion says, “You knew what I was when you let me on your back.”
Yeah. That.
I’dbegged Holden to take the ride. So why was I sitting there blinking back tears?
Because I’d let myself get attached, that’s why. I should’ve known better. Holden might have the kind of personality where he could get cozy with a woman night after night and it meant nothing, but I, Christianna Juliet Thornbury, was not built that way.
No, I got tangled up hard. It had only happened twice before. But it was always a painful mess to cut myself out of. And this one felt worse than the other two combined. That’s what happens when the chemistry is red-hot, I guess.
Then again, was there a woman on earth Holden didn’t have chemistry with? He probably had chemistry with a rock. I swear I’d heard a ninety-year-old grandma sigh at our last away game when he walked by.
An embarrassing sob choked in my throat and I cut it off. I was not crying about this man right here in the middle of our team dinner. What was wrong with me? I didn’t cry about men unless I was in love with them. And yet here I was, fighting back the tears.
Wait a minute…
No.
