“I was twelve when it started. I didn’t realize he was grooming me. Once it began, he threatened me on a daily basis. Messed with my mind.”
“Tell me your stepbrother’s name. What’s his address?” I was going to beat the living daylights out of him. Ford would help me. Maybe Blue would too. But not Holden. Or Silas. They’d never do anything that shady. Oh man, if my sister Sophie were still alive, she’d be my ride or die on this. No questions asked. “I need to defend your honor.” An angry tear escaped my eye.
She wiped it away. “Sweet Ash. It’s okay.I’mokay. It was a lifetime ago. And I have you now.” Her hand pressed against my cheek. “I do have you, don’t I?”
“Of course, you do. What kind of dumb question is that?” My voice collapsed to a hoarse whisper. “It doesn’t change anything. I’m going to love you like I always have and I’ll be a dad to Charlie. A good one.”
Her hand was still against my cheek. “Yeah. We can figure that out later. I’m going to say the next part in a big long gush because if I don’t, I won’t be able to do it. It’s going to be a lot of information all at once, okay?”
I nodded, though it took all my willpower to sit there. To not be up, making some kind of plan to assassinate this guy.
“Here goes.” Her shoulders rose and fell and then she began. “So I had Charlie when I was sixteen but…she wasn’t the only baby. The first pregnancy happened when I was in eighth grade. That was Theo. He’s mine too.”
It felt like a wrecking ball slammed into my chest. All the air was sucked from my lungs by some invisible force.
“We placed him with my mom’s cousin Beverly—who was a fantastic mom to him—but then, right when I got pregnant with Charlie and finally told Mom the truth about what my stepbrother had been doing to me, Beverly was killed in a car accident. The state put Theo in foster care before we knew what had happened. We got him back, thankfully. But it took a while. That was scary for a bit. But once we did, we knew we were never letting him go again.”
“Wait, you had two babies and your mom didn’t figure out it was your stepbrother?” How was that even possible?
“I lied to her with Theo,” she said, toying with a stray thread on the blanket. “Told her it was a boy from school.” When she looked up, her expression was so sad. “But when I told her the truth about Charlie, everything happened super fast. Mom knew she had to get me out of there. Had to get us all out of there. So we took Theo and Charlie, packed our car when my stepbrother and stepdad were gone one night, and we left Oregon for good.”
“Oregon?” My mind was reeling. She’d said she was from Montana. Why I stumbled over that, I don’t know. It was the least significant thing she’d told me.
“Yes, Oregon. Once we made it to Idaho we pulled over at a gas station and bought a map. We didn’t have our phones. We’d left them behind so they couldn’t track us. So we had no GPS. Mom folded the map down the middle. Nowhere west of the Mississippi, she said. Then she let me do the honors. She said since I’d lived through hell, I should get to pick wherewe start over. So I closed my eyes, said a prayer, and pointed to a spot on the map.”
“That’s how you ended up in Seddledowne?”
“Yes. We laughed—me, Mom, and Brianna. It was the first moment of relief we’d had in weeks. A place calledSeddledowne?” She smiled. “A place where we could settle down and be safe? In the middle of nowhere, Virginia? We knew it must be a sign.”
I pulled her to me. “What if you hadn’t pointed to the right spot? What if you’d pointed to somewhere in Maine or Florida or Kentucky?” I buried my face in her hair. “What if I’d never met you?”
She slipped into my lap and wrapped me in her arms. “But I did, Ash,” she said with so much happiness in her voice. “I did. And here I am.” She smoothed my hair. “Hereweare.” The more she confessed, the lighter and happier she got, and the heavier I felt. But I would take it. For her, I would take anything.
I shoved her hair off her shoulder and buried my face against her neck, a few tears breaking free. “I love you. I love Charlie and Theo too. I’m going to make this up to you. To all of you.”
Her fingers scratched lightly over my scalp. “It’s not your job to do that.”
“I’m going to anyway, and you’re going to tell me his name. I’ll get a hit put on him. Ford will help me. I bet he knows a guy.”
She shook with laughter. “It’s okay. He’s already paying. He’s in jail.”
“He is?”
“Yeah. He is.” She pressed a soft kiss to my lips.
“Do Charlie and Theo know? That you’re their mom?” I didn’t think so. They seemed to believe it was Brianna. And they only called Tally their aunt.
“No. We never could decide what to do. At first when Brianna married Cam, and things were good, they wanted to keep them and raise them as their own. And I felt obligated to let them. Kids deserve a mom and a dad, you know?” She was stiff and I could tell everything they’d been through hurt her. Maybe she felt like it was her fault. “But things didn’t stay good for long, and the more they fizzled, the clearer it became that Cam didn’t want them after all. Not the kids or Brianna. After he left, Brianna sort of fell apart. I was relieved. Not for her. Just because I wanted the kids so much.” Her teeth tugged at her bottom lip. “So I told Bri if she could hang on until I was done with school that I would love to take them.” She gave me a sad smile. “She almost made it.”
“I’m so sorry,” I said.
“It’s okay.” She laid her hand against my beard. “My stepbrother’s the reason I was so freaked out about your age. He was older. In college when it began.”
“So you didn’t trust me? You thought I’d do what he did because I’m older?”
“No, I thought you were a good person. But it felt like older equaled more powerful. Older meant calling all the shots. Having all the control. Doing whatever you want even if it hurts other people.” She brushed my bangs back. “You know what finally helped me know it was safe to fall for you all the way?”
“What?”
