I littered kisses down her throat and past her collarbone. Then I made a straight trail down the front of her torso, kissing, kissing lower down her velvety skin. When I reached her ribcage, her back arched and she moaned, goosebumps springing up everywhere. Her fingers dug into my hair, gently tugging, guiding. I kept going, veering across her stomach until I found the spot where she’d pointed to earlier. Where she said the stretch marks were. I pressed two kisses there, one for each.
She arched again. No, that was a shudder. No, a shake. Was she crying? My lips stayed frozen against her stomach as Iwaited, listening. She sniffled and her body shook again. She was definitely crying.
I made my way back up in quick, kiss-free fashion. Then I popped up into an elbow plank, and looked down at her. Tears slid from the corners of her eyes into her hair.
“Hey,” I said gently. “Did I scare you? I’m sorry.”
She smiled, tears still pooling. “No. Don’t stop.” Then she reached up behind her neck with both hands.
“But you’re crying. What’s…” Oh wow. She was untying her top. “No.” I wrapped my hands around her wrists like a pair of manacles. “Don’t do that.”
Her hands went limp by her head. She looked bewildered, and a little rejected.
I rolled off of her. “Tally, what did you think was about to happen?”
She curled up on her side, facing me. “I thought you were going to make love to me.”
My brain tried to explode in my skull. “And you’re ready for that? On our first day together?”
She wiped her cheeks and whimpered a, “yes.” She put a hand over her eyes, looking ashamed. “Is that bad to admit?”
I chuckled. “No. I think you just made my year.”
She released a single laugh and peeked up at me. “But I’m terrified too. So maybe I’m not ready? I dunno.” She tucked her bangs behind her ears, determined. “You’re older. More experienced. That’s what you want, right?”
Oh my word. “Hold on.” I flung the blanket burrito open and hopped up. Then I grabbed my T-shirt off the chair and pulled it over my head. I found her shirt and shorts and walked them to her. “Put some clothes on.”
“Okay.” She sat up and did as I’d asked.
When she was done, I crawled back in beside her and pulled the blanket shut, trapping in our warmth.
I traced over her cheek. “Maybe that’s the way Madden did things, but it’s not the way I do things.” She’d said in our Incognito chat, back before I knew she was Austen, that the rape had been her only time with a guy. But maybe she’d lied about that the same way I’d lied about Alaska and my fictional fat cat, Blubber.
She shook her head. “He didn’t. We didn’t…do that. Ever.”
My brow raised. “You never had sex with Madden in four years and you were okay doing that with me the first day?”
More tears spilled out. “I don’t want to lose you. If that’s what I have to do, then I’ll do it.”
I let out a little huff. “Is that what you think? That I won’t stay with you if you don’t give me that?” One look at her gutted expression told me that’s exactly what she thought. I pulled her tight against me. “I wasn’t planning on making love to you until we’re married. That’s how Duprees roll. We wait.” I sighed. “Well, most of us.” I shook my head, the shock still fresh. “Did you really think I would wait all this time for you and then expect that on the first day?”
“You want to marry me?” she asked in a breathy hush.
My fingers ghosted over her cheek. “Yeah. Someday. If that’s what you want.”
“You want to marry me even though I’m raising Charlie and Theo?” Her tone was careful. Calculated.
“Yes. Of course. They’re the best freaking kids on the planet. And even if they weren’t, they’re part of the deal, so yes again.”
“So, you want to be a parent, with me?”
“Yes. And I want to be the father of your future children and be your husband and love you all of your days.” I didn’t know how to be any clearer.
“Okay.” She smiled. “Yeah.” But then her face dropped. “But you want to wait until we’re married? What if that’s years down the road?”
I bit back a smirk at her disappointment. “We don’t have to figure it out right this minute. We can give ourselves a few days, at least. But yeah, I want us to be committed for life before we’re intimate. It’s the smart thing to do. It’s how I was raised.”
“I mean, I know that’s how Anna was raised but sometimes…” She bit her bottom lip.
