He squeezed his eyes shut as if this was as painful for him as it was for me. Somehow I doubted it. He wasn’t the one who’d have to deal with Nose-to-the-Grindstone Gibson. “I know Dr. Gibson isn’t your favorite person but she’s a way better fit for you. Her PhD is from the University of Michigan which boasts one of the best writing programs in the country. And she wrote her dissertation on?—”
“I don’t care what her fancy schmancy dissertation topic was. Or where she went to school. I’m comfortable withyou.”
He blinked a couple of times. Then he clicked his tongue. “Exactly. You’re comfortable with me. Too comfortable. That’s why Dr. Gibson is?—”
I held up a hand, stopping him. “If you do this, you’re not just screwing me over here. You know that, right? How are you gonna get tenure if you don’t graduate students?”
“I’m handing one student off, Tally. One.”
Yeah, and that was the most hurtful part. “Oh, so Garrett you’re keeping, butIhave to go?” I frowned and folded my arms. “He isn’t even smart. You only like him because he’s a stupid Trekkie.”
Ashton’s head cocked to the side and he suddenly looked tired. Of me.
My eyes burned and the end of my nose itched. “You’re serious? This isn’t a joke?”
His chest rose like he was taking a cleansing breath and I caught a whiff of his cologne. Montblanc Explorer. I knew the brandbecause I’d gone into a perfume store at the mall once and sniffed the entire men’s section until I figured it out. I let myself inhale. I’d take calm wherever I could find it.
“Not a joke. I wouldn’t play like that. This,” he pointed back and forth between us, “isn’t a healthy professor-student relationship. You don’t respect me, and honestly, I probably don’t respect you like I should.”
My head tilted as I tried to understand. “Is this because I got mad about you taking my phone? Because that was out of line. You would not have done that to another student.”
He started to respond and I cut him off.
“Or is it because I took a Dr Pepper without asking and rested my feet in your lap?”
His feminine lips, which I suddenly despised, pursed as if I’d proved his point.
I threw my hands up. “I could feel a headache coming on. I needed a pick-me-up and my feet hurt.”
He scrubbed a hand over his face. “You’re almost done with school and I think you’ve leaned on me a little too much. It’ll be helpful for you to work with someone else. Someone like Dr. Gibson.”
“Exactly, Ash. I’m almost done.”
“It’sProfessorDupree,” he reminded me for the umpteenth time. But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t call himprofessorto his face. It sounded fake. He was just Ashton. Ashton, who pounds on the table when he gets in a heated discussion. Ashton, who’d come to my rescue twenty times during undergrad when I couldn’t make the words come for a writing assignment. Ashton, who loved to quote cheesy Shakespeare lines to his brothers when they castrated bulls. Ashton, who could fix a flat tire in less than ninety seconds and made me time him to prove it.
Ashton, who made me laugh more than anyone.
“You’re the one who talked me into staying for a master’s.”I pounded on his desk, pulling ahim, trying to break the seriousness of the conversation. Just a throwback to the very first time we met and he shouted his hate for Rochester at me.
He didn’t even crack a grin. He tipped back in his seat coolly and steepled his fingers. “Yes, as I should. You’re an amazing writer.” I opened my mouth to tell him he was a hypocrite but he quickly said, “And I never want you to question whether or not you earned your degree based on merit.”
I folded my arms and humphed. “I know I’ve earned it on merit. So we’re good then. You can keep being my advisor.”
He pressed his hands in a prayer pose and dropped his forehead to them. “No,” he said quietly but firmly. “Tally, I’ve thought about it for a long time. This is happening.” His tone said he was unmovable. End of discussion. No closing arguments.
My eyes stung and my breaths were too close together. I hadn’t seen this coming. At all. I sat up, searching his face. “What if I promise to treat you the same way I would my other professors? I can do that.”
He cocked a brow, looking skeptical.
“For four more months.” It would take major willpower, but if it meant keeping him as my advisor… I gripped the armrests. “Please,ProfessorDupree?”
Those eyes held my stare for five long heartbeats. I almost thought I had him.
“No.” He shook his head and dropped his gaze. “Just..it’s for the best.” He shot up out of his seat and started gathering the papers on his desk. “Dr. Gibson is really excited to work with you.”
He’d already planned this out with her? It felt like I’d been sucker-punched.
I shook my head, blinking back tears. “Yeah. Okay. Have a nice…day, I guess?” I wanted to say have a nice life. I was that hurt. But I couldn’t say that to him. He’d been a rock in my stormy sea and I didn’t have many of those.
