My stomach rolled and it felt like the air had suddenly been vacuumed out of the room.
She’d placed that baby for adoption and had never spoken of her again. She’d never spoken of the guy who got her pregnant. Anna didn’t know anything about him. Said she thought he’d been Tally’s boyfriend from wherever the Hawkins lived before Seddledowne. But now that I thought about it, I knew very little about her life before. They’d lived in Montana. But what town? Did Anna even know? If she did, she’d never said anything. It’s like they just showed up one day and none of us ever questioned it. But that’s how we were raised. Duprees accepted people as they were, no questions asked.
My gaze roved over her now, looking for…what? Scars? Something to tell me if it was true? But rape didn’t leave an outward mark. And she just sat there, guarded.
I needed to make certain she was Austen before I jumped to any conclusions.
Eyes burning, I reached over and grabbed the armrest of her chair. Then I yanked her toward me, fighting not to pull her into my arms. Hug her so hard that it erased any pain she’d ever felt. Her eyes widened in surprise as the wheels rolled toofast. I caught the chair and settled her next to me so I could see the screen better.
Deep breath.
“You’re Austentacious119?” I asked, concentrating on making my voice steady. It cracked anyway. “I mean, I could see that. You’re an amazing writer.”
She looked over at me with watery eyes. “Just like that, you believe me?”
I shrugged and glanced away. If I kept looking at her, I was going to start crying. Weeping like a little boy. “Sure. Why wouldn’t I?”
“Because I could be making it up,” her voice shook, a tell-tale sign that she was overwhelmed.
My hand curled into a fist against my thigh as I forced myself not to touch her. I shrugged again. “You’re going to prove it to me, right? Show me how you and that Leggolas guy write together?”
She nodded, blinking a few times. “Yeah. But Leggolas1012 is a mouthful. I just call him Leggs.”
I squeezed my eyes shut, my throat trying to close up. Austen always called me Leggs. Always.
She turned the laptop slightly so I could see better and clicked on the chat icon in the upper right corner.
And then our entire conversation thread for the last twenty-four hours filled the screen. Verbatim. Exactly how I remembered it.
My fingers gripped my knees and I was breathless. If I’d thought Tally getting engaged to Madden hurt, it was nothing compared to this.
“So…” I sucked in a ragged breath. “Why tellme? Why do you think I can help?”
“Aside from the fact that you’re a professor of creative writing?” She laughed.
“Yeah. Why not ask a classmate? Or Professor Gibson.”
She scoffed and rolled her eyes like that was the worst idea I’d ever had. “Because I need to writethescene and obviously…” Her laugh was stilted. “We have really good chemistry. I mean, that kiss outside of Capitol Cuts, was…wow.”
I should’ve been elated that she enjoyed the kiss. As it stood, it was the last thing I cared about.
“Our kiss was wow?” I asked slowly, calculated, each word carefully placed into the air so as not to let her know that I was on the verge of cracking. “I thought you were disgusted by it.”
“No.” She laughed but it sounded more like one of Christy’s half-crazed cackles. “Why would you think that?”
“Because.” I rubbed at the center of my breastbone, hoping to release some pressure. It did nothing. “You’ve hardly looked at me since.”
“That’s because….it doesn’t matter. But I wasn’t disgusted. My mind was just blown is all. I wasn’t expecting it to be so…” Her hands pressed against her cheeks. “I’m not here to talk about that. I’m here asking for your help. Is that okay?”
It wasn’t. I couldn’t write this scene with her. I could hardly see straight. I swallowed hard, tasting blood where I'd bitten the inside of my cheek, and pushed up to a slow, shaky stand. “Uh, I need to use the restroom real quick.” The boiling anger I felt at whoever did this to her made it sound almost mean. “I’ll be back in a minute…or five. Just…stay,” I ordered.
She stared up from my chair, looking startled and a little scared. I couldn’t fix it right then.
I walked out of the room and pulled the door shut behind me. Luckily, the men’s restroom was only fifty feet down the hall. By the time I made it, tears had leaked out of my eyes. Thankfully the hall was empty. When I got inside, I checked to make sure all the stalls were clear, then I locked the door behind me.
Filled with rage, I turned and punched the nearest object I could find. As my fist connected with the paper towel dispenser I simultaneously heard and felt a loud crack. The plastic box shattered on the edge, sending shards flying.
And then I broke.
