“Yeah,” she whispered. “I know.” She pressed on the gas. “His age scares you, doesn’t it?”
I met her gaze. “That’s only the beginning of what scares me.”
The further I got from The Kiss, the more I realized maybe I hadn’t been in love with Madden. I’d been in love with the idea of loving Madden. He was safe and kind and patient. And boring. I hated admitting that to myself. There were probably hundreds of women who’d chop off their right arm for a chance at that hot, hockey-playing hunk. I just wasn’t one of them. Jocks had never really been my thing until him. We’d had nothing in common. Our relationship had been nothing but painful pauses and uncomfortable silence.
But Ashton? Every minute with him was full of conversation—heated or hilarious. I never knew what he’d say next. It was my favorite thing to try and figure it out, only to have him prove me wrong.
But one touch of his lips and I’d lost my mind. Thrown every bit of caution to the wind. If we’d been somewhere private, and no one had interrupted us…I couldn’t even think it. In four years of dating Madden, I’d never experienced that kind of out-of-control, all-consuming, heady rush.
I never wanted to experience it again.
I wanted it so badly that it infiltrated my every thought.
I’d only been to Ford’s new place once before, but this ranch, much like Dupree Ranch, was breathtaking. Rolling hills, thick, lush fields of grass, blackboard fences that enclosed horses whose tails flipped up lazily as theygrazed. But I couldn’t even enjoy it. My insides felt dark and heavy with regret.
“I messed up, Mom.”
“Hmm. Or maybe you started something brand new.” Her face was full of pleading. “Give it a chance?”
“No, I’ll just end up hurting him in the end.” The same way I’d hurt Madden. “And he doesn’t want me. He’s done nothing to reach out. Not even a text.”
“Have you reached out to him?”
I shook my head, but that was a lie. I’d reached out to him once. But only to shut the whole thing down.
We turned into the circular driveway and pulled in right behind Ashton’s truck. As soon as our car was in park, Theo and Charlie woke up and unbuckled their seat belts.
Ash had gotten a new license plate. “FCC1701?”
“That’s the USS Enterprise’s registry number. Ash finally got it.” Theo pumped his fist, his lisp getting the better of him. “Yes!”
“Yes!” Charlie mimicked. But she probably didn’t know what the USS Enterprise was. She was excited about spending the afternoon with Griffin and Liam, the two Dupree grandkids she got along with best.
“Ash-ton, remember?” I caught Theo’s eye in the mirror as he stood up. We’d talked about what the lisp did to Ash’s shortened name many times.
“Assshhh-ton,” Theo very carefully said.
I smiled. “Good job, bud.” I tilted my head. “But don’t forget what we talked about?”
“My birthday was yesterday.” He bobbed his head. “Today is aboutAsssshhhh-ton.” Then he grinned adorably, flung the door open, and ran for the house. Charlie climbed out behind him.
Mom squeezed my knee. “You just need to give him a chance. Talk to him.”
I glanced over at her and shook my head. “There’s no point. He comes from such a good family.” I waved my hand at the veritable mansion in front of us. “They would never want me if they knew.”
Her lips pursed and she frowned. “I think you’re wrong. They’re more accepting than you think.”
We followed Theo and Charlie to the front door. Theo reached up and pushed the doorbell.
Mom’s face scrunched and she tilted her head, listening. “What is that?”
I focused for a second and snorted when I recognized, “Ring of Fire,” by Johnny Cash in lieu of a standard doorbell chime. “Sounds like Ford is settling right in.”
The door flung open and Jenny stood there with a huge smile on her face. “Tally!” She pulled me into a hug like I hadn’t entangled her son in a humiliating mess. “We’re so glad you could make it.”
I squeezed but my eyes were drawn over her shoulder. I was right. Everyone was here. The inside of Ford’s living room was bouncing with the happiness that was a Dupree family gathering. Laughter, teasing, and a football game on TV. “Thanks for the invite.”
She let me go and hugged Mom.
