If we wanted any chance at a book deal, we needed to be winning more people over, not chasing off the readers we already had.
Austentacious119: Okay. I’m back.
I cracked my fingers and placed them on the keyboard, ready to work.
Leggolas1012: Is today the day? Are we finally going to give the people what they want?
I crossed my fingers in hopes she’d say yes.
Austentacious119: Actually, I need to talk to you about that…
I let out a long sigh. Austen was about to give me another reason why we should wait.
Austentacious119: Sorry, I’m just…
Austentacious119: Struggling. I probably need to be forthcoming with you on some stuff.
My stomach tightened. What could that possibly mean?
Leggolas1012: Okay.
Austentacious119: I know we owe our readers a bedroom scene. I just can’t make myself write it.
I stared at the screen waiting for her to expound. After sixty seconds, I nudged.
Leggolas1012: What’s going on? Tell me the same way I told you about The Girl. You’ll never regret it. Not a single day.
Austentacious119: Your sarcasm has enveloped me like a fuzzy blanket, even from 3500 miles away.
Leggolas1012: Glad to be of service.
Austentacious119: It’s super personal.
Ahh.She was feeling self-conscious about getting spicy with me. Understandable. It was my first time too. Writing a bedroom scene, that is.
I was about to remind her that we could make it fade to black if she wanted. I’d suggested it before but she was the one who’d insisted on the open door. But then another message came through.
Austentacious119: No, I still *want* to write it, but if we’re going to keep writing together, I need to tell you something.
Okay? I pulled my hands from the keyboard, sensing she needed me not to interrupt.
Austentacious119: There’s no good way to sugarcoat this so I’m just going to come out with it.
Austentacious119: I was raped.
The air in my lungs leaked out in a slow hiss. I swore and rubbed my eyes with the heels of my hands.
Austentacious119: It was a long time ago, and I’ve been to years of therapy. But I haven’t been with anyone since, so that’s my only experience with intimacy. And every time I go to write it…
Austentacious119: I just can’t.
My heart was racing. Sweat beaded along my forehead. What was wrong with some men? No. Anyone who did that wasn’t a man. He was a monster.
I had to be very careful with my next words.
Leggolas1012: First of all, I’m so sorry. And I’m sorry I’ve been pushing you to write the scene.
Leggolas1012: Secondly, I hope he’s rotting in jail. Please tell me he’s rotting in jail.
