The red light pulsed, warning me that the clock was ticking. I typed in 0508—the date the kids and I had moved in—and hit enter. The red light kept blinking. I tried again. Nothing happened.
My hands pressed against my cheeks and I stared at the illuminated keypad. Obviously, Ash had changed it. My mind raced, thinking through the possibilities. My birthday. Theo’s birthday. Charlie’s. Ash’s. What if it wasn’t a birthday at all? What if it was the serial number on one of those Star Trek ships? I was running out of time. But calling Ashton’s name in the dead of night was not how I wanted to greet my husband after disappearing for five months.
I was about to type in his birthday when I heard a low gasp behind me. Then footsteps coming closer and a whiff of Montblanc Explorer just before an arm came around me andpunched in the numbers, 0725—our wedding date. Then the enter key.
“Tally?” He sounded desperate and shocked like a man completely broken. That one word gutted me. His forehead dropped to my shoulder. I waited, praying he’d pull me into a hug. Or wind his arm around my hip. But he didn’t.
I froze, afraid if I breathed wrong it would spook him. But I couldn’t stop myself, his pull was magnetic. I relaxed into his chest. Wrong move. In a flash, his head lifted and I heard him step away.
“Ash.” I turned and stepped toward him. But like a twisted dance of foxtrot, he took another step back. I froze again.
The room was dark, but a sliver of moonlight was flowing through the floor-to-ceiling windows. Enough for me to see that he was thinner and his beard had grown out. It looked like he hadn’t trimmed it since I left. And his hair was long. Almost touching his shoulders. But his eyes were the same. I focused on those.
My hands fisted at my side. “How are you?” As soon as the words were out, I regretted it. What kind of stupid question was that? How would I be if he’d disappeared on me? So I corrected with, “I missed you.”
He let those words hang between us for a few tense seconds.
“Did you?” His voice shook. Whether from anger or overwhelm, I couldn’t tell. “What are you doing here, Tally?” His words were full of pain. “Oh, sorry,” he said bitterly. “I forgot. You have a different name now.”
He knew about Witness Protection? “How?” was all I could push out.
“Christy knew all along. She was the principal when you moved to Seddledowne, remember?”
Christy knew and she never said anything? I fell back,blasted by this piece of information. His flaring nostrils said he was upset that I hadn’t told him. Could I blame him?
I pressed a hand to my stomach and fought back the tears.
I’d dreamed of this moment for months, telling myself that’s all it could be…a dream. I’d told myself, if this were real, that Ashton would be overjoyed to see me. That five months apart meant nothing in the grand scheme of things. But the man standing in front of me wasn’t the confident, happy man I’d left behind. He was unsure and maybe a little angry. Probably a lot, if I were being honest. And it was no one’s fault but my own.
But I was unsure too.
It had cost me a lot to come here. Emotionally. I’d had to lie to my family and Special Agent Moore. Again.
I stared at him, rethinking my entire plan. Hop a flight from Charleston to Richmond. Drive an hour from the airport to Seddledowne. Gently break the news about Witness Protection. He’d be so elated I hadn’t left for no reason that he’d gladly agree to come home with me. Well, not home.Thiswas home. Make it to Phoenix by tonight. Call Special Agent Moore and tell him what I’d done. Then, he could extract Mom, Briana, and the kids and move us again.
“You’re not supposed to be here,” Ashton said, his tone giving away his worry.
“I know.” I wanted to touch him. To kiss him and not let go. But the look on his face told me he wasn’t ready for that. He didn’t trust that I wouldn’t leave him again.
I needed to fix this but there were no words in the entire English language that could repair the hurt in his eyes, the stiffness in his shoulders, the way it looked like it was painful to breathe. Any apology I offered at that moment would make a cruel mockery of the anguish I'd put him through.
I swallowed and tucked my bangs behind my ears. “Your beard needs trimming.”
“Yeah,” was all he said.
Ineededto touch him. To be near him. My fingers twitched, aching to feel his warm skin. “Can I trim it for you?”
“Now? At one in the morning?”
“Yes.” My fingers actually crossed, hoping. “Is that okay?”
I saw his jaw pulse in the pale light. “Fine.”
I wrapped my hand around his wrist and pulled him behind me. That small touch was electrifying, like all my hormones had been dormant since the day that I left and they’d just come out of hibernation all at once. Until he yanked free, making my eyes burn. What had I expected? His footsteps indicated that he was following though.
When we got to the master bathroom, I flipped on the light and knelt down under the counter, breathing through the rejection. The clippers were right where Ashton had put them when he moved the majority of his things in. I stood to find him watching me, arms still folded, face guarded.
Here, in the bright light, I could see what my absence had done to him. He was down at least twenty pounds. And the amount of crows feet around his eyes had doubled.
