Last night, after years of wanting, we finally gave in. My only regret is that we should’ve done it years ago. Last night was more than I ever imagined it could be. Raven told me everything - her real past, why she joined the agency. We’d made a decision. We were going to the director, and together, we’d tell him. Consequences be damned. I’d thought we’d have so much time to explore this new us.
I was such a fool.
This morning, an urgent message flashed on her phone. Before I could even sit up, she was gone. Just a rushed kiss, a worried look, and a promise to be back in twenty minutes.
That was sixteen hours ago.
When I call her number it goes straight to voicemail. Her tracker says location not found. I’ve called every contact, pulled every string. The trail ended at the abandoned Royal Marine Barracks where a person witnessed her being dragged behind the old ammunition store and then there weregunshots fired. Now I'm staring at the choppy English Channel, soaked to the bone with no will to leave, my heart feeling as gray as the sky.
People hurry by, ducking against the wind. They have no idea that my world just ended. That the woman I love vanished without a trace. I replay our last moments over and over. The way she looked at me like I was her constant amid the chaos. Her last smile, the last kiss, the back of her disappearing through the door.
My fist clenches around her badge. She left it behind - something she'd never do unless she wasn’t planning on returning. Lightning flashes across the water and for a moment, I think she’s a ghost, walking along the waves. But it’s only an illusion.
The waves crash against the cliffs below, violent and unforgiving. I want to scream, to rage against the unfairness of it all. To jump in head first.
Instead, I stand here, rain mixing with the tears I can't hold back anymore.
Raven's gone. Not undercover. Gone. And I have to be honest with myself…probably dead. The woman who could make me laugh during the worst stakeouts, who had my back in firefights, who knew me better than anyone. And she’s never coming home.
I should head back and file my report. But I can't move. Moving means accepting this new reality. A world without Raven in it. I'll stand here until I'm numb, until I can face what comes next.
Because right now, standing at the edge of a cliff, I don't know how I'll ever move forward without her.
twenty-five
ASHTON
He decided it was human hatred and not divine vengeance that had plunged him into this abyss.
— ALEXANDER DUMAS
Ford: Just landed. The tour was great. Best one yet. The guys didn’t make it easy on me, but I still have my red chip. I’m determined to get gold in twenty two days. GPS says I’ll be home in sixty two minutes. See you there?
Iread the text from Ford and smiled. He’d gone through three months of rehab. The very next week, he’d hopped on a plane and went on tour. We hadn’t wanted him to but he had to fulfill his contract. Jeff promised to look after him, and it looked like he’d kept his word. I checked in with Ford every morning to give him some accountability and to hear how things were going.
Me: So glad to hear that. I’m proud of you. I’m still at work but I’ll pack up and head home. We should arrive around the same time. Meet at my place?
Ford: Sounds good. Can’t wait to see you.
Ford: Any word from Tally?
I stared at his message and rubbed my palm against the center of my chest. I breathed through the pain that hadn’t eased a moment in the last five months, six days and twelve hours. He asked me every single day.
Me: No. I don’t think I will. I think this is for good.
Ford: No, man. Don’t think that way. We’re going to find her. We will.
Me: I don’t think she wants to be found.
I’d been thinking it more and more lately. The longer this went on the more the doubts crept into my mind. She hadn’t loved me as much as I loved her. Or, we’d gotten married too quickly and she was happy for a reason to leave. Maybe I hadn’t meant as much to her as I’d thought, because if I had, wouldn’t she have told me about being in Witness Protection? I know I would’ve told her.
There was a knock on my open office door. On instinct, I whirled around in my swivel chair. But it was only Professor Gibson.
She tipped her head to the side and gave me a sad smile. I wondered how long it would take for my colleagues to stop looking at me like that. “Time to go home, Professor Dupree. Holiday break awaits.”
It was exactly why I’d been putting offleaving. The thought of spending Christmas with my family, watching them hug and love on their spouses and kids, was unbearable. I didn’t know how I was going to get through it.
I stood and turned my back to Dr. Gibson so she wouldn’t see me slip off my wedding band and drop it into my pocket. I never wore it at work but I’d thought everyone was gone for the evening.
