As soon as the screen door shut behind her, Holden started whining. “I freaking hate the dishes. I’m twenty-seven. I shouldn’t have to do stupid chores anymore.”
“Are you sure you aren’t five? Do you think Mom should have to do all this?” I blew out my lips, annoyed at his current mood. Holden was always over-the-top cheerful. Said it was all the endorphins from working out so much. Maybe he hadn’t hit the gym lately. “I’ll wash, you dry?” I sprayed down the sides of the sink and plugged the drain. Then I walked back and helped Holden collect the remaining plates and silverware.
When the water was ready, I grabbed a sponge from under the sink, jammed my hands into the suds, and started scrubbing. Holden was quiet, and he’s never quiet. Dad always said he talked more than three tweenaged girls combined. And he wasn’t wrong.
I glanced over to see my brother glowering at me.
I cocked an eyebrow. “Dude. What is wrong with you today? Did you and Ford trade bodies or something?”
Ford came out of the womb grumpy, also according to Dad. And if we ever caught him smiling, which was about once a year, Mom tried to get a picture before he realized what she was doing. She’d succeeded probably less than five times in his whole life.
I ran a plate under clean water.
“Shut your piehole.” Holden yanked it from my hand.
I glowered at him like he was asking for a scuff on the shoulder. “Did you get dumped? What is your problem?”
He rubbed the dishtowel over the plate so hard he was going to break it. “What is wrong withyou, mouth-breather?” We called each other names all the time, and it usually resulted in us laughing or wrestling until we wound up laughing. But today he was angry at the world about something and his name calling held a twinge of vitriol.
I raised an eyebrow. “Bro. What’s up? You can talk to me.”
He pulled the cup out of my hands before I was done. It still had a piece of lettuce stuck to the back, but I’d let him figure it out. “What are you doing looking at Lemon like you want to drag her down the hall and jump her on Mom and Dad’s bed or something? You shouldn’t be doing that.”
I let my hands sink in the water and my mouth parted slightly. I mean, yeah, I was struggling to take my eyes off of her, but it wasn’t like that. “Weren’t you the one badgering me to confess my feelings for her?”
His shoulder twitched. “Yeah. But then I started thinking.” His tone was calmer, more careful.
I started washing again. “About?”
“I dunno.” He shrugged. “Christy.”
I stopped and turned. “Christy?”
He held up his hands. “She messaged me on Facebook,okay? Sent me a friend request when you two decided to do areset.” He said the word like it was the most idiotic thing he’d ever heard. And he looked a little guilty that they were social media friends and he hadn’t told me. “And Instagram.”
“Dude. It’s fine. You can be friends with Christy. Not a big deal.” I went back to scrubbing. “So, you’ve gotten to know her and finally realized she’s a human with feelings.”
He cocked his head, his tongue running over the front of his teeth. “Yeah, I have. Have you?”
I grabbed the nozzle and sprayed a cucumber off of a bowl, tempted to spray him. “I’m the one who didn’t want to blow her off on the possibility that Clem might like me, remember? I’m very aware of Christy and her feelings.”
He bristled, scrubbing the cup too hard. “I saw the way you were looking at Lemon tonight. It’s not right. Don’t you think Christy deserves to have someone look at her like that?”
I exhaled hard through my nose. “Yeah, I do. But I can’t force what I don’t feel. It was probably too soon to be talking about marriage. I dunno.” I pulled my hands out, dried them off, and leaned backward against the sink. “That’s why I told her I couldn’t keep going on the way we had. I’m trying to do right by her. But I can’t worry about it right now. I can only worry about Anna.”
His eyebrows flicked a few times, and he snorted. “But you’re going to head straight back to Laramie in a month and pretend like you weren’t lusting after Lemon all summer, aren’t you?” His voice was acid and his jaw pulsed.
Okay. I was done. “Dude, I have no idea what’s up with you. Are you ornery ‘cause they went to see the Highlands without you?” He glared like he wanted to throw me over a bar counter. “I’m not going to waste anymore time defending myself or vacillating between guilt and a fear of rejection. I already did that, and it sucked, and I’m finally in a good place with Clem.” I stepped away from the sink. “Ithink you’re forgetting that I didn’t volunteer for any of this. I was volun-told by my deceased twin that this is how I would spend my summer. I’m making the best of a ridiculously complicated situation.” I held my hands up, arrested-style. “And you’re being more hormonal than a girl on her period. When you’re done here, I suggest you go slip one of Mom’s valiums. I’m going to find Anna and Clem.” It was misogynistic and insensitive. I knew that. But it was a lot nicer than what I wanted to say. Waaaay nicer.
There was still a pile of dishes, but I couldn’t care less. I let the screen door on the front porch slam behind me. Mom would’ve beaten my butt if she’d seen.
Then I hopped on the four-wheeler and took off for my little temporary family.
nineteen
CLEMENTINE
Even though Silas ordered me to stay home and sleep off the exhaustion from my morning round of worshipping the porcelain God, I got up and met him at the studio. If I waited for him to come all the way home after class, we’d have to rush to the city for my first prenatal appointment. This way, we could take our time.
