“You’re the GOAT!” Brooklyn bellowed.
I smiled and gave them a thumbs up. “Keep going!” I yelled across the lawn.
“Silas?” Christy scolded, proving my point. I couldn’t keep her happy while I was here.
Big exhale. “Yeah.”
“I didn’t mean to put pressure on you.” Her tone had lost all its fight. “Think if you were me and I’d left you for the summer to go live with some gorgeous guy.”
The desperation in her voice was killing me and I almost took it all back. But then I’d be in the same position tomorrow and the next day. She’d painted me into a corner. And after what happened with Clem the night before, I didn’t feel like I had a choice. If I wanted to keep my conscience clear, I had to do this.
“You’re right. It would make me crazy. Do you like living like this? It isn’t fair to you or to me.”
We sat there for a moment, saying nothing. I didn’t want to break things off. But I also didn’t want to continue forward this way. It was a Catch-22 if I ever saw one.
“Are you still coming back at the end of the summer?” There was hope in her voice.
“Yes. I have a job there.” I almost added, “and you’rethere,” but I didn’t know if she even wanted us to be a couple anymore.
She sniffed. “What if…what if we pushed pause?”
“Pause?” I was afraid to get my hopes up. Christy was a pusher. Said she had to be as a woman or she’d never make it academically or professionally. But that tendency bled over into our relationship. She might dress this up like a break, but underneath it would be the same relationship with a different title. “I dunno…”
She must’ve heard my hesitation because she scrambled. “Okay, not a pause. A reset. We’ll take this summer off and then, when you get home, we’ll go back to how we were.”
“Really?” My question was laced with disbelief. It seemed too good to be true. “You would be okay with taking the summer off?” I thought about the way things had been before I left. Christy was safe and comfortable and beautiful. And she loved me. I didn’t want to lose that. We’d spent time building something. She was my friend and though I didn’t know if I’d ever feel for her what I felt for Clem, I also knew Christy wouldn’t break my heart like Clem had.
Could I do this? Could I focus on Anna—and Clem—and put Christy out of my mind all summer and then go back to Wyoming and start where we left off?
“If you make me one promise,” she said.
Whatever it was, she’d want me to sign my name in blood. “What is it?”
“You have to promise not to kiss her. If you kiss her, all bets are off. Don’t even bother calling me when you get back.”
Fair enough. I’d already decided that I couldn’t let something like last night happen again. Clem clearly didn’t want it, and there was no point in humiliating myself or risking my relationship with Christy over it.
“Yes. Of course. I promise.” So were we incommunicado for the rest of the summer? Was I allowed to feel whatever Iwas going to feel when Clem was around without a cloud of guilt hanging over me? Or would I be grilled when this was over? Put through my own personal Nuremberg trials?
I was about to ask, when a vehicle came flying up the driveway, way too fast. For a millisecond, I thought it was Clem coming back from the studio. But it was Billy’s white Ford F-450. Crap. Clem must’ve forgotten to lock the gate at the entrance of the driveway. The truck fishtailed to a stop, spraying gravel onto the lawn. Anna and Brooklyn turned, both looking like they’d swallowed a rock.
“Uh, Christy, I gotta go.” I hopped up and hurried across the yard.
Billy slammed the truck door, his expression dangerous. He took one look at me with the girls and must’ve decided he didn’t care if minors were present.
“Where’s Lemon?” he yelled, coming at me.
I motioned to where she usually parked in the carport. “Not here.”
He stomped on the ground, his nostrils flaring, eyes drilling into me. “Well, where is that little witch? I am not signing those ridiculous divorce papers.”
Deep breaths. I crossed my arms and stood up straight. “Anna,” I said over my shoulder, “You and Brooklyn go inside.”
Wide-eyed, they hurried up the porch steps and into the house. I breathed a little easier when I heard the deadbolt lock into place.
“You better tell me where she is right now!” Billy screamed like a two-year-old not getting the red firetruck LEGO his mom let him ogle for five minutes in Walmart before putting it back. I had to control the urge to laugh. Did he think if he threw a big enough tantrum that I’d give him what he wanted?
I shrugged, acting unfazed. “No. I don’t think I will.”
