I threw the covers off, flipped on the light, and bolted into the hall. Clem flew out of her room at the same moment. We shared a split-second gaze of terror. Clem yanked the door open to Anna’s room and hit the light.
I didn’t know how someone could gasp for air and scream at the same time, but Anna was doing it. Her body thrashed on the bed and I thought she might fall out. I rushed to the left and Clem went to the right. I knelt beside the bed and grabbed Anna’s hand. Clem sat on the edge of the mattress and smoothed her bangs back.
“Anna,” I shook her, trying to get her to wake up.
“No,” Clem said in a hushed tone. “Don’t wake her.”
What?Didn’t we want to stop this?
“She’s having a night terror. She had them when she was little. We just have to make sure she doesn’t hurt herself and wait it out.”
Anna’s bottom sheet had come loose and coiled around her legs. I rubbed my thumb over her knuckles, praying for her to stop.
“Mom! Mom!” Anna sobbed. “Where’s my mom? Have you seen my mom? Sophie!” Her left arm flew up and Clem caught it before it smacked her in the face.
“Stop!” she screamed. “No! Don’t do that,” she mumbled. “She doesn’t want you to put dirt on her. Stop it!” She tried to punch but her arms flopped down.
The funeral. She was freaking out about Sophie being in the ground. I willed her to wake up.
Of course Anna was freaking out. She would have PTSD for years. No thirteen-year-old should have to watch their mother die a slow, painful death. Or watch all their extended family sobbing over their mother’s dead body. Or stand by helplessly as shovels of dirt are hefted onto their parent’s casket.Icouldn’t think about Sophie being six feet under without fighting for air. No wonder Anna’s body was overloaded.
I felt so helpless. Clem’s eyes were swimming, but she stayed still, calmly tracing along Anna’s forehead with her pointer finger.
“Mom, please,” Anna cried feebly once again. Then her body went motionless. Her eyes flew open and everything was still for a split second. Was she awake? She looked awake. Clem glanced at me and nodded.
I got up off my knees and slid onto theedge of the twin bed. “Hey, hey, sweet girl. It’s okay.” I used a gentle tone. “We’re right here.”
Her sobs shook the whole bed. When she realized who I was, she collapsed against my chest. Clem leaned back against the headboard while I held Anna, letting her cry it out.
“W-where’s Aunt Lemon?” Her eyes darted around frantically.
Clem put a hand on her shoulder. “I’m right here.”
Anna turned and reached for her, still holding onto me. Clem squeezed her hand. Anna pulled her against us. Clem slid one arm around Anna and the other around my waist. She leaned her head against Anna’s. Clem’s hair brushed my cheek and I could smell the scent of her shampoo. Roses. Heat spread through me, as longing pulsed through my veins with each heartbeat. I tried to focus on Anna.
I don’t know how long we sat that way, huddled together, letting Anna cry—but it was long enough for my left leg to fall asleep and my hormones to melt almost all my willpower. Anna’s breathing softened. Clem glanced down at her face and then back up at me. She was way too close. Like close enough for me to kiss her. I cut off the air in my nostrils because if I got one more whiff of the rose shampoo, I might do something stupid.
“I think she’s asleep,” she whispered.
Thank God.
Like literally. Did He think this was funny? Was He trying to break me? I didn’t know, but it all felt like some kind of cruel joke. Like He wanted to dangle the world’s biggest carrot in front of me just to see if I could handle it.
Together, Clem and I slowly eased Anna against her pillow.
“Do you think she’ll remember in the morning?” I asked.
“I don’t know. She hasn’t had one in years.”
Clem stood and carefully untangled the blanket frombetween Anna’s legs. We tucked the sheet back in and covered her up. Anna wiggled for a second and then went still. I needed out, so I padded slowly toward the door. Clem followed, both of us watching to make sure we didn’t wake her. The floor creaked under my right foot.
Clem winced.
Anna sat up. “Don’t go.” Dang it. “Please. What if it happens again?”
I heard Clem sigh, but not in a frustrated way. More like in complete submission. She would do what needed to be done. Even if she got no sleep tonight. She walked back and slid into bed beside Anna. I didn’t know if I had it in me to be stuck in this room with Clem a second longer.
“Uncle Si?” Anna held open the covers on her other side.
