“I’ll text them later.” I bent the envelope in half and twisted it, frustrated at myself and at Sophie. And honestly, at Clem. Which was completely irrational. But kind of not. I’d spent way too much effort getting her out of my head and my heart, and now we were supposed to live together? Sleep under the same roof?
“I think I better keep that for you.” He took the envelope from me. “Shy Si, huh?”
My childhood nickname. I hated when they called me that. I wasn’t shy. Just choosy about who and when I talked to people. Massive difference.
I exhaled through my nose and hissed, “I know what she’s doing.”
“Who?”
I undid the knot on my tie, yanked it through the shirt collar, and tossed it in the grass. “Sophie.”
“What’s she doing?”
“She’s playing matchmaker. Like she thinks she knows better than I do who I should end up with. Miss Freaking Know-It-All.” I felt bad saying that about her. Especially since she was gone. I’d loved Sophie with a fierceness. Would’ve fought the entire world for her, though I’d had to do it long distance for the last decade. But right now it felt like she was going out of her departed way to make me miserable. And I couldn’t even argue with her about it. My chest tightened, and I pinched the bridge of my nose.
Holden rubbed his stubbled chin. “Or.” He held up a finger. “And this is just a thought—she might really want this for Anna. Three months of the three of you spending as much time together as you can? Seems to me she was legitimately worried about that girl. Think about it, man. If we’d lost Mom at her age, it would’ve killed us. We’d have all turned out like crap.”
I threw my hands out. “And what happens at the end of three months? What do we do with Anna then? Fly her back and forth across the country to share custody? It’s a terrible plan. And what about my job in Laramie? I’m supposed to be there all summer prepping my teachers, getting the classrooms ready. I have to administer a science exam to my sixth graders on Monday. And there’s no way Christy is going to let me do this?—”
Holden snorted. “Grow a pair, man. Get a sub.” He may as well have clocked me in the jaw. He shook his head, disgusted. “Your sister—yourtwin—just passed away. She’s asked you to do this for her. She’s worried about herorphaneddaughter. And if your girl can’t let you do that—if she’s so selfish that she doesn’t get that you loved Sophie—then do you really want to be with her?”
When he put it like that…
I dropped my head into my hands, breathing it out, stalling. “I can’t.” I finally admitted.
“You can’t, what?”
I pounded my forehead against my palms, and the words escaped. “I can’t live in that house withherfor three months.” It killed me to say it out loud. I may as well have wuss written on my forehead in that red lipstick Clementine always had on her ridiculously perfect lips.
“And there it is,” Holden said, wearing his usual smug smile. If it had been anyone else, I might've punched them in the gut. But Holden knew me. He was my best friend. The only person I really trusted with this stuff. Sophie would’ve been if Clem hadn’t been in the middle of every conversation we ever had—even when we didn’t bring her up at all. Clem was the elephant in the room. Always. And I could never open up to Sophie because of it. I hadn’t brought Clem up to her in years. Wouldn’t engage in conversations about her. Didn’t matter. Sophie knew exactly how I felt, anyway. Called it twin-tuition.
I ripped a patch of grass from the ground and rolled a blade between my fingers. “I thought I was over it, you know? That time would kill it or something…”
“But it hasn’t?”
I shook my head. “It’s like the minute I see her, I’m twelve or fifteen or twenty all over again.” I was so freaking weak.
He turned to face me. “This is your chance, man. Take it.She and Billy aren’t a thing anymore. Finally. Sophie couldn’t have orchestrated this better if she were God himself.”
Oh, the irony of that statement. “Actually, Sophie couldn’t have made a bigger mess if she tried.” His head leaned, and I finally told the first Dupree, “Christy and I are engaged.”
He eyed me like I’d suddenly grown an extra eye in themiddle of my forehead. “Seriously? You’ve been dating her for what? Five months?”
Saying it out loud sounded as stupid as Holden made it sound. I nodded, sheepishly. “I don’t even know. One minute we were decompressing on my back deck with a couple of beers, and the next thing I know, she’d talked me into marrying her.”
“Shetalkedyou into marrying her? Super romantic, bro.” His eyebrows puckered. “Is that even what you want?”
I rubbed my forehead. “I want a family. I know that. I’m tired of dating. And I’m not getting any younger.”
It seemed like he was in shock, sick for me. “This is the most depressing engagement announcement I’ve ever heard. You’re tired of dating? That’s nothing to base a lifelong commitment on.”
He wasn’t wrong. I’d kind of been thinking the same thing. But I didn’t want to break up with Christy, either. And I’d given up the hope of ever feeling for another woman what I felt for Clementine. This was as good as it got for me. So why not settle down?
He guffawed. “Do you even love her?”
I sighed. “Yes?”
“Mmhmm. You’ve convinced me.”
