“Then just turn off my translator!” I yell, grabbing my collar and yanking on it, unable to control the outburst.
THIRTEEN
It’s been several days with my collar translator off. To say I am depressed is an understatement. Daddy has tried talking to me in his soothing and gentle voice, but I can’t understand anything.
Daddy told me Chale wanted to talk to me after the whole incident, before he turned off the translator. He tried to talk me out of it, but I didn’t want to as I was mad at him. But Chale didn’t deserve that. He wanted to know more about me since he is getting his own girl very soon.
Who will it be?
I push the thought to the back of my mind. I don’t want to think about who is going to be the next victim of this.
Daddy continues to feed me and hold me close, talking calmly to me. I can hear the begging in his voice, but I don’t understand a word. He has tried to turn my translator back on, but I shake my head and wrap my hands around it.
But each time I do it, my heart breaks even more.
I feel so lost.
Tears pool in my eyes as I stare at the ceiling. Daddy hasn’t put me in the kennel since I asked to have the translator turned off—more like yelled for him to do it. He keeps me in his bed, close to him at all times. I don’t know if he’s worried I’m goingto do something, or maybe he’s waiting for me to tell him I want the translator back on.
He has let me wear a shirt and diaper every single day, changing me regularly when I reluctantly use it. He’s wrapped me in a blanket several times so I stay warm since I can’t seem to hold the heat in my body.
He’s been nothing but caring, talking to me even though he knows I can’t understand him. For all I know, he could be saying nasty things about me, but I know from just the way he is talking that he isn’t. It’s too soft, and a hint of worry laces every single word.
Daddy walks back into the living room, and we make eye contact. I quickly flick my gaze away, knowing that if we look at each other for too long, I am going to be a crying mess. I haven’t had a moment to myself since everything happened, and I haven’t had time to process the emotions. Will I ever?
Daddy kneels in front of me and cups my cheeks. I keep my eyes closed so I don’t have to look at him, but when he talks to me gently, almost like he is cooing at me, I open my eyes and gaze right at him.
He gives me a small sad smile and says something, and before I know it, I’m sobbing, my whole body shaking as I let out all my emotions. He pulls me into his embrace, holding me tightly while rocking back and forth.
Him touching me makes me cry even harder. I don’t feel any anger coming from him as he holds me. Daddy moves his hand and touches my collar, but I don’t pay any attention to it as I continue to sob into his chest.
“I’ve got you,” he whispers in my ear. “Everything is going to be okay. Let it all out.”
And that’s exactly what I do. I let every emotion out. I don’t know how long we sit there with me crying in his arms, but Daddy continues to whisper sweet nothings in my ear as herocks us back and forth. My tears slowly start to slow, but Daddy doesn’t move or attempt to let me go.
“Please, Little companion.” Daddy’s voice breaks. “Don’t tell me to turn your translator off. Please talk to me. I want to hear your sweet voice again. I want to hear you giggle and see you smile. I don’t like seeing you all sad and not motivated to do anything.”
“I don’t want you to turn it off,” I whisper, burying my face in his neck and holding on tight.
Daddy’s whole body relaxes as he plops onto the couch and holds me even closer than he did before. We just sit there, relaxing with each other after everything that happened.
“I’m so glad you don’t want me to turn it off again,” he gently says. “I don’t think I could have survived another day.”
“Me too,” I mumble and grip onto his shirt.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks.
I suck in a breath. We need to discuss it because it’s important, but I don’t want to ruin this moment. I want to stay in his arms.
“We need to talk about it eventually,” he murmurs and kisses the top of my head. “We can’t continue to ignore it, no matter how much you want to.”
I pull away slightly and look up at Daddy. His lips thin, and I nod.
“Can we just sit here for a little longer and enjoy each other’s embrace?” I ask softly. “I don’t want it to end. The calmness.”
“We will be calm while we talk,” he declares. “But we can sit here for a little bit longer.”
I relax back on Daddy, letting my breathing even. Tears pool in my eyes once again as my body fully lets go of all the stress that’s built up over the past couple of days, but I quickly blink them away, not wanting to cry again.
