TWELVE
I slip off Daddy’s lap, landing super hard on my bottom. The diaper did nothing to break my fall, and tears pool in my eyes, but I blink them back as I crawl to the corner of the room.
“Little companion?” Daddy stands from his chair.
I shake my head and push myself farther into the corner, wrapping my arms around my legs and pulling them to my chest. I want to be close to him as the anxiety courses through my body, but I don’t want him to punish me.
But what I’m doing now is essentially punishing myself.
“Come out of the corner,” Daddy gently says as he gets closer.
“Please,” I beg, but I don’t know what I’m begging for.
Is it for him to pick me up, or is it for him to leave me alone? I close my eyes and dip my head, not wanting to see what Daddy does. I am going to be so hurt if he doesn’t come pick me up, but at the same time, I don’t want him to.
I need to distance myself so I don’t end up losing myself trying to please him so much.
“Come to Daddy,” he whispers as I feel his hands under my armpits and pull me up. “Everything is going to be okay.”
“Maybe you should reassure her that you won’t use it as a punishment?” Chale sounds hesitant.
I feel Daddy sit before maneuvering me so I’m lying on my back and he’s holding me just like a baby. We make eye contact and stare at each other for several minutes.
“Little companion.” He softly smiles. “I would never use that as punishment. It’s not good for your health to be so worried for so long. I’m not going to make it suffer. I want you to thrive. Do you want to know a little secret?”
I lean forward just a smidge but quickly lie back down when my body protests.
“I feel the same whenever I’m not close to you,” he whispers.
He does? But he has never said anything before. Is he just trying to validate my feelings?
“So you know what that means?” he asks.
I shake my head.
“It means we are just going to have to stick together, and whenever we do have to be apart, we’ll both take some medicine” he confesses.
My eyes go wide, and I quickly relax in his arms. I like the sound of that. I shouldn’t be this close to him, but over the past week, things have changed. I still struggle with a lot of things and am still annoyed I’m not able to walk on my own two legs.
And let's not talk about him giving me pleasure. He’s only given it to me once in the past week, and I want more. I want to touch him and explore his body.
I just don’t know how to bring it up to him, or if he even wants me.
I push the thought to the back of my mind. I don’t need to be thinking about that right now. I don’t know what I’m doing when it comes to having sex. I’ve never explored myself.
“I think she likes that idea.” Chale chuckles and sits on the chair in front of Daddy’s desk.
“I think she does.” Daddy looks down at me. “I’m going to set you on the ground, and you can lean up against my leg while I talk to Chale.”
He places me on the ground before I can say anything. He fumbles with my collar, and all of a sudden, I don’t understand what Daddy or Chale are saying. Looking up at him, he continues to talk.
Did Daddy really do that? I thought we were getting along great, and now he could say anything around me. Hurt fills my body as they continue their conversation. Daddy guides my head back to his thigh, and I close my eyes, taking a deep breath in.
I don’t know why I’m so hurt that he turned off the translator. I’m hurt that Daddy doesn’t trust me to listen in and be part of it all.
I don’t know how much time has passed since Daddy turned off my translator, but when his hand starts to move again, I bow so he can’t reach my collar easily. If he wants to turn it off, then it’s going to stay off, so I can’t understand him.
Daddy moves his hand again, but I move my neck so he still can’t reach it. Daddy says something, but I don’t understand and don’t look at him. Two can play at this game, and I’m not going to give up so easily.
