“Love you too,” They say in unison before hanging up the phone.
I may have been vague with my brother but I tried to convey Cassius’s questionable personality without saying things I have no evidence to back up.But I also don’t want to get Cassius in trouble.If I say too much, Nathan and Cedric will start “looking into it,” my mom will send me links about restraining orders, and suddenly Cassius is a problem to be solved instead of a man who, God help me, makes me feel safe.
He’s admitted to being a bad man, but that could mean any slew of things.The realization lands like a stone in my stomach.I’m okay with his version of bad, if it’s pointed at the right monsters.I line my phone with the couch seam, inhale for five, exhale for three.I don’t want to expose him.I want to understand him.I click on his number and hit call.
“Lindy girl,” Cassius says before the first ring finishes.“I told you to call me when you woke up, not hours later.”
“How do you know I didn’t just wake up?”I untuck my feet and scoot so that I’m lying down.
“Do you really want to know the answer to that?”
“Yes,” I say even though I’m fairly positive the answer is no.
“I have someone watching your building.I have access to your phone and can see the first time you looked at it this morning, as well as just a few moments ago, to call your brother.”
I’m dumbfounded.He’s spying on me.Heisa maniac.This is obviously a mistake.This is why impulsivity is stupid.It always comes with regrets.“That’s um, well, wrong.”I’m not sure what else to say and definitely sure I don’t want to get angry and risk making him angry.I’m in way, way over my head.
“It’s a matter of perspective, my darling.”He can’t possibly know the effect that his nicknames have on me, can he?They’re immediately disarming.“The men on the street are there to keep you safe.They’ll honor your privacy and I can guarantee that because they know if they so much as see your bra strap, I’ll scrape their eyeballs out with my fingers.”
“And my phone?”
“Also for safety.I use the GPS feature more than anything.I rarely read your emails and texts.”
“Rarely?”
“I’m curious by nature.”He chuckles.Freaking chuckles.Like this is normal.Like I’m not mentally alphabetizing all the ways this is insane.
“If you want me to cut the feeds, Lindy, I will.I’ve done it before.I don’t want to, but I will.”
My stupid brain is less concerned with him watching me and more concerned with being able to watch him.“Would you let me track you the same way?”
“Yes.But I’d prefer not to.I trust you.I’ll tell you whatever you want to know, but I go places you shouldn’t see.But if you truly want that, I’ll hand it all over.”He pauses, like he hears himself.Good.“I know how it sounds.”
“Why did you want me to call you, Cassius?”I ask instead of touching that whole location mess.He can watch.He’s been watching and, instead of craving privacy, the thought of telling him to stop makes me uneasy—like cutting a tether I didn’t know I was clinging to.
“So that I could apologize.”
“Is that why you followed me home fromMirage?To apologize?”
“No.I followed you home because you were too drunk to drive yourself and I needed to make sure you got inside safely.Your car has also been delivered to you.Your friend’s as well.”
“This is all too much.”
“What is?”
“You,” I exhale.“You are too much.With your threats, that aren’t even thinly veiled.With your intensity.You were in my apartment.You took my dress off.You brought my car here.You took Victoria her car too?Why, why would you do that?Did you tint my windows?Did I say you took my dress off?”I take a few deep breaths.My anxiety is about to take over this conversation.
“Lindy, darling,” he starts and I know he somehow is a mind reader and knows the effect his cute names have on me.Jerk.“I wanted you to be comfortable.Yes I took your dress off but I put you right in bed.Aside from lifting you to get you there, I never touched you.”
“You didn’t want to?”Stupid, stupid girl.
“More than I want my next breath,” Cassius says.“But, I’m never going to take anything from you that you aren’t willing to give me.”
“And you so easily could,” I whisper, because it’s true.I wouldn’t even have to be black out drunk.I’m defenseless.He could easily overpower me.There’s a twisted part of me excited by that thought.
“If that’s something you’d like to explore,” he says, clearly reading my mind again, “I’ll chase you, dominate you, push your limits.”
“I’ve never thought about it before now.”
