As soon as they leave and the door shuts, I throw the ice in my freezer.I can’t breathe when I’m not messaging her, and now that I’ve seen her, heard her voice, there’s nothing on this Earth that will keep me from her.The only thing that eases that tightness is knowing that either Adrian, Caleb, Atlas, or I have eyes on her at all times.I hate that I have to involve Atlas at all but I can’t be there twenty-four-seven, people need killing.Atlas is just as busy as me if we’re being honest and he has people to watch, people to find, material things to find too, so Adrian definitely doesn’t understand why he’s watching Melinda so much for free.Or why he’s paying Mavik to help.Adrian won’t question me again after today.Neither will Caleb and that’s great because Atlas busts my balls any chance he gets over Melinda, enough for all three of them.
What Atlas doesn’t do is fail to show up.He does every single thing I ask, which is the only reason I don’t deck him in his face for his annoying comments.
I haven’t slept since we talked on the phone.No surprise there.She’s all I think about.No matter what I’m doing, or who I’m with, she’s there.Not just there, she’s front and center.I have to have her, make her mine, but how?She’s a shooting star.How do I possibly capture and hold on to that?You don’t trap a shooting star.You fly with it and pray you don’t burn up.
That’s when Detective Sarah Blake flashes in my head.Exposure.I don’t say it, but it sits on my tongue like a nail.Cops don’t scare me, but patterns do.Men get caged and killed for patterns.And mine looks like this: street cams, office cams, inboxes, and a woman with bodies stacking near her orbit.Detective Blake, if she has the brain cells I think she does, will make that connection at some point and the heat won’t land on me first.It’ll curl toward her.Witness.Person of interest.Bait.Blake will tie the dead to her, yank her into rooms and ask her questions until she cracks.I can eat prison.She can’t.I’ll walk in there willingly if it’ll keep her from ever having to sit in a fucking interrogation room.
My stomach rolls.I didn’t know it could do that.Knife tap.One, two, three.
I’m no different from the men I cut out of alleys.I call control protection and watch without consent.I refuse to hand Detective Blake a map that starts at my shadow and ends at Lindy’s door.
I have to do the only thing that scares me more than getting caught.Try to let her go.Put distance between my hands and her life.I won’t tell her any of this—the risk, the detective, the part where she’s a threat to me and I’m a threat to her.She gets to keep her light and I get to keep the ache.
Knife tap.One, two, three.I’ll stop looking.For as long as I can.
I’ve already gone through my twenty-seven minute routine and am standing at my front door about to leave when my phone pings with an email from Adrian.
Subject: Update
Cassius,
I've finished looking into Melinda's situation regarding her transfer from the London office.Officially, there's nothing on record about why she decided to move.
After further digging and chatting with a few contacts, I've managed to uncover a bit of the story that didn't make it to any official documents.It seems there was a bit of an issue with her boss.From what I've gathered, this guy was pestering Melinda non-stop.The word 'relentless' came up more than once in the conversations I had.It sounds like he made her work life pretty miserable, and no matter how she tried to handle it, he wouldn't back off.
This situation apparently went on for a while, and it looks like Melinda tried to deal with it as quietly and professionally as possible.
Melinda was trying to get away from a bad situation and start fresh somewhere else.
-Adrian
My blood boils.She waschasedaway.She didn’t want to leave.She was forced to leave a city she loved by a man who mistook her kindness for consent.I don’t need to know his name to know he’s already dead.Jesus if I kill everyone who hurts her or makes her uncomfortable then I’ll seriously never sleep, not to mention my brothers will be right and I’ll wind up caught and in prison.I agreed to no more bodies, but this can’t stand.Without even knowing the man’s name, I know I’ll rid the earth of him.Someday, soon, when I have Lindy in my arms and she’s telling me herself why she left London, I want to be able to assure her that this man no longer dirties the same planet as her.
I close the email and dial Adrian’s number.
“Get me his name.His address.His fucking social.I want it all.”
“Good morning to you too, brother.”
“Adrian.”His name comes out rough.I open my front door and head out.
“I already have all that.I just chose to omit it.”
“Why are you fucking with me?”
“Because, Cassius, this woman has you spiraling.Listen to yourself.You’re obsessed and all you’ve done is text her a few times.Why does she have you so twisted up?It’s dangerous.For you and for the rest of us.”
“She’s pure goodness, Adrian.”I will him to understand that she’s golden sunlight, who came into my life because of fate or divine intervention.Neither of which I believe in.She texted me by complete accident, on a fucking burner phone at that.There has to be some higher power initiating this shit.She is supposed to be mine.Ihaveto protect her.
God, probably fortunately for him, never crossed my mind before Melinda.I was born knowing I’d spend my life walking through fire and spend my eternity in hell.I accept that, made peace with it the day I chose to end my father’s life.
“Look,” I continue when Adrian stays quiet.“I have no clue why things played out the way they did.Why text my burner, why not yours or Atlas’ or Caleb’s?We’ve had how many burners, hundreds?This has never happened.There has to be a reason.”
“You getting religious on me?”
“She’s my sanctuary.The only thing I’ll ever worship.For the first time ever she has me thinking maybe there’s more to life than darkness and blood and sleepless nights.Hope, Adrian, she gives me hope.Can’t say I’ve ever dared to even think that way before her, and for some reason she was dropped in my lap.”
“And you intended to keep her there?”
