He had very little to go on as his own parents were rarely, if ever, at peace in one another’s company. If they spoke at all, they argued. His mother and father were anything but good examples of how to conduct a successful marriage.
And a union such as theirs had been was the last thing he wanted. He supposed it should please him that they taught him what not to do and how not to behave in his own marriage, but he very much wished they had taught him how to make a successful marriage instead.
Perhaps he could forgo conversation altogether. After all, Juliet did not seem keen to talk. She presently relaxed against the velvet seat with her head back and eyes closed. Perhaps the morning’s events had tired her. Or maybe she did not know what to do now that they were on their way.
He allowed his gaze to roam over her from the blond curls gathered at the back of her head to the pout of her slightly parted wine tinted lips. Then he looked lower, following the curve of her hips to the slipper covered feet that stuck out from below her skirt.
He truly studied her for the first time, taking in every visible inch of creamy skin and feminine curves. His cock hardened as he took in the sight of her. Lord, he wanted her, perhaps worse than he had ever wanted anything. But he somehow doubted seduction would be the way to earn her trust.
Giles narrowed his eyes, focusing on her hair. In the sunlight streaming through the carriage window, it shone like silver highlighted with gold streaks. His fingers twitched with the sudden desire to touch the carefully styled tresses.
What he would give to tangle his hand in her hair and bring her lips to his. He knew her lips to be lush and pliable. The kind that were made for kissing, and he longed to do just that. He had nearly done so at the church when the clergyman announced them husband and wife, but thought it a bad idea to shock the ton further than they already had.
And now? He could not ravish her in a carriage. Not while she was still innocent and adjusting to her new place at his side. Giles had no wish to cause her fear or discomfort. He wanted her to feel valued and to be an equal partner in their marriage. He would have to save kissing for the right time.
But then, when would the time be right?
He tore his gaze from Juliet and shifted in his seat, his hard cock making his breeches vastly uncomfortable. How the devil was he to keep his desire under control when she was in such close proximity? More importantly, how was he to gain her love if he remained distracted by her womanly charms?
Giles ran a hand through his hair as he turned his gaze back to the window. He simply had to maintain his composure. He had to woo her and gain her trust before he seduced her. It was crucial he became her friend and partner, as well as her lover.
Damn his past discretions for putting him in such a fix. If not for his previous debauchery, Juliet might already trust him. But then, the clubs of London, ladybirds, and lonely widows had been safe. None of them required him to love or even care about anyone other than himself. Instead, they welcomed his debauchery—encouraged it even, allowing him the freedom to indulge his passions and distract from his boredom.
Giles had needed that freedom—craved it even. Besides, if he had behaved better, he never would have met Juliet. Certainly would not be married to her now. And leastwise, for now, he was happy with his lot.
He could not change the past, but somehow he would make amends with her. Gain her forgiveness for his previous discretions and gain her forgiveness for ruining her. Juliet deserved to have a good husband, an honorable man to love and care for her, and he would be that sort of husband.
But how the devil was he to convince her of his intentions? He pondered that question for quite some time as the carriage continued toward his country estate, and Juliet continued to rest.
“It is freezing,” Juliet said in a sleepy tone as she pulled her legs onto the carriage seat, closer to her body.
Giles moved to sit next to her. “Come. Lay your head on me. Share my warmth.” He reached out one arm, waiting for her to snuggle against him.
Juliet worried her lip, her brows drawn in contemplation.
He smiled, then said, “Do not be silly. We are wed. It will do no harm for me to keep you warm.” He lifted his arm so she could snuggle against his side. “And you have my word; I will not seduce you in the coach. My only motivation is to keep you warm.”
She slid closer to him and said, “I’m sorry. I fear it will take some time to get used to being a wife.” She snuggled against his side. Her head on his chest, body pressed against him, and legs curled up on the seat.
Giles wrapped his arm around her. A shiver shot through him as her soft curves molded to him, and their body heat melded together. Ignoring the unsettling longing, he rubbed his hand up and down her arm to warm her further.
Their marital state would take him some time to grow accustomed to as well, though he looked forward to the adjustment. Perhaps his lousy behavior had, at last, yielded a positive outcome.
* * *
Juliet rested, her body pressed against Giles’s side and chest, and listened to the steady beat of his heart. The feel of his heat and embrace did more than warm her. It comforted her, too. But despite the way he made her feel, she still could not relax. Her mind bounced from one idea to the next as if she had no control over it.
What did he think as he held her? Did he find her figure pleasing? Was he terribly disappointed to be wed? Or was he excited about their future? Would he come to her tonight? If so, would she disappoint him? If so, would he take a mistress? Maybe he already had one.
The thought troubled her, for she did not wish to share him. Or maybe she did. What if she found no pleasure in the marriage bed? In that case, she may welcome him having another to satisfy his lust.
She heaved a sigh and snuggled closer. Of course, she would enjoy coupling. Why would she not? He drove her to distraction and turned her knees to pudding with his kisses. Surely, having all of him would be even better. But then… Her mind continued to spin.
Bedding him could bring pain of another sort. What if she could not protect her heart in the face of such intimacy? Did it matter at this point?
Juliet was not even sure she still wished to shield her heart from him. For better or worse, she’d married Giles, and now she wanted a genuine marriage—complete with intimacy. In fact, she found herself very much looking forward to that part of it. But could they have a real union built on respect and honesty? Perhaps even love?
Juliet peeked up at Giles. Would he come to adore her? To want her heart and soul, as well as body? And would she reciprocate?
