Her chest rose and fell with a deep breath. “It would be unfair of me to do so.”
"To the devil with propriety, Daphne." He wanted to shake her until she saw reason. "It is unfair to refuse the help I so willingly give."
A tear slipped from her eye and trailed down her cheek. In that moment he felt no anger. He wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss away the pain in her glassy blue eyes. Clearly, he had put it there, but how? His mind replayed the events that brought them to this. "Have you ever been in love?" Her question echoed through his mind, then slammed into his understanding, knocking the wind from his lungs.
She had fallen in love with him.
He closed his eyes for a heartbeat in a vain attempt to recompose himself, then asked, "What will you do now? How will you ensure Henry's future?"
"I am going to marry. My husband, whoever he turns out to be, will care for Henry."
He knew he should let her go, that he'd already done more than enough to hurt her. But he was selfish and he wanted more of her. Somehow, the very thought of letting her leave nearly brought him to his knees. He stepped closer until their bodies nearly touched, capturing her hand in his. His voice was low and strained with emotion as he asked, “You would rather sell yourself in marriage than spend your time with me?”
Daphne glared at him.
Before she could speak, he said, “I once offered to make you my mistress. If you are selling yourself, why not do so to a man you desire? A man who wants nothing more than to see you happy and secure.”
Her cheeks flushed crimson and she struck out at him, her hand landing hard across his cheek. "How dare you." Anger blazed in her eyes erasing any sign of the hurt that had been there a moment before. "I will never be any man's mistress," she spit the words at him and pulled her hand free of his grasp.
"What if you are carrying my child?"
Her back stiffened and she pivoted back to face him. “You need not concern yourself with my condition or lack thereof.”
His own anger rekindled, a small flame burning in his soul. “Of course my child would be my concern, and you would have no right to keep him or her from me.”
“I do not see why it should be your concern. Surely a man of your reputation has a bastard or four already.” Her tone was icy and her eyes glacial as she stared into his.
He shuddered, feeling the force of her words like a physical blow. She had intended her words to sting, and she had hit her mark. He was furious.
Alex had always taken care not to spill his seed inside of his lovers. Daphne was the only woman he had ever lost control with and, damn it, if she did carry his child, she would not be passing it off as another mans. He grabbed her elbow and leaned close. "The devil if I am going to walk away and allow you to ruin your life. Henry's and possibly our child’s as well."
“If there is a child, I will not have it grow up as a bastard because its father was too afraid to love and trust its mother.” She took a deep breath and with each word, her voice rose higher and higher. Her eyes were blazing as she locked onto his gaze. "Leave. Me. Alone." She punctuated each word with the jab of her index finger.
His eyes blazed with fury, causing his muscles to tense and his breathing to become shallow. He could feel his heart pounding against his chest as he struggled to find the right words. Defeated, he watched as she stormed out of the room.
Thirteen
Everyone save for Daphne was in high spirits, talking and laughing as they enjoyed Lord and Lady Chesterfield’s formal dinner. She glanced around the room, noting the sparkling crystal wine goblets, the glistening silverware, and the pristine white linens draping the grand dining table. Laughter rang in the air as guests chatted and enjoyed the delicacies being served on bone-white porcelain plates embossed with an intricate floral pattern. Tall candelabras lined the center of the table, illuminating the faces of all those present while casting a soft golden glow on the fresh flower arrangements around them.
Daphne took in the dimly lit room, soft music playing in the background and candles flickering on every table. But she could find no enjoyment given where she had been seated - directly across from Alex. She had not seen him in nearly a fortnight, but could feel his eyes boring into her from the moment she joined the party.
Her stomach churned as she tried to at least pretend she was enjoying the fare, and this was only the first course. How was she to survive the entire meal?
Daphne tried to focus her attention on the conversation happening around her but found it difficult to do so. The dress she had picked out for the occasion felt suffocating, and she could not wait to get back to her room to change into something more comfortable. She took a sip of the wine that had been poured for her, and felt Alex's gaze intensify.
She could not help remembering the time she had spent with him. The passion of their lovemaking. The whispered words, and gentle caresses they shared.
Daphne shook her head to free herself from the memories and looked up to see Alex raising an eyebrow at her, his lips quirked in a knowing smile. Heat crept up her neck as she realized he knew exactly what she was thinking about.
She peered at him before averting her gaze to the dish in front of her. If they were not more careful, everyone would be speculating about them by dinner’s end. And that was the last thing she needed.
Daphne dipped her spoon into her turtle soup and sighed. She could not stop Alex from looking at her, but she would do her best to ignore him. She brought the spoon to her mouth and pretended to eat.
"Lady Gilford?" The gentleman seated beside her broke into her thoughts.
“Yes?” She turned her head toward him.
“I asked if you will be traveling to London soon?” the gentleman repeated.
