“There is also this option”—she held up a voluminous forest-green dress—“but I’m not sure I prefer the skirt.”
I wrinkled my nose involuntarily, and the Bondsmith laughed, a loud, carefree sound.
“I’ll take it you agree.” She tossed the offending garment in a pile on the floor.
“Or I have this one.” The goddess held up a black, skintight floor-length dress with a low-cut neckline. My cheeks heated as my eyes widened, the beads in my braids clacking with the shake of my head.
“It’s just not . . . right,” she said with a shrug, tossing it aside to join the green dress.
“What is Ellowyn planning to wear?” the Bondsmith asked suddenly, throwing me completely. I stuttered and shook my head.
“I—I’m not quite sure?”
“Didn’t she and Peytor leave a few days ago for Vespera to shop for dresses? Surely he would have communicated with you by now?” Her question was light and offhanded, but her gaze was pointed. Clearly, the Bondsmith knew of our troubles, and this was her way of fishing for information.
Clever goddess.
I chuffed a rueful laugh and shook my head again.
“Let’s not play coy, Bondsmith,” I said, her smile dropping instantly. “We both know he left on less than favorable terms.”
“That’s not the way I heard it,” she said with a shrug. My blood boiled with her casual indifference, with the insinuation that my hurt didn’t matter. That Peytor’s pain was inconsequential.
“And how did you hear it?” I gritted between my teeth, nails biting into my palms.
The Bondsmith raised an eyebrow as she continued to sort through her dresses, as if this conversation held no emotion.
“I heard that he left so you could be free to explore your connection with Lex and Ilyas without him interfering. Without his presence as a distraction or deterrent. A way for you totrulysee how you felt without your love for him clouding your judgement.”
Her words cut me straight to the quick, and I tumbled back a step as my ire drained.
“Ialsoheard that he cried for hours in Torin and Ellowyn’s room before they left together. Apparently, Ellowyn wasn’t even going to travel to Vespera, but did it because she loves her brother. Loves you.” There was that pointed look again.
My heart dropped to my knees as exhaustion crashed over me in waves.
“I never wanted him to leave,” I mumbled, grief-stricken again that Peytor thought hehadto leave—for me.
“But he did,” the Bondsmith said with a shrug. “Because he cares for you enough to let you make your own choices. Isn’t that something you’ve been so—what’s the word?Adamantabout?”
“How is choosing to Bond with Lex my own choice?” I ground out, temper flaring again before faltering just as quickly. “This stupid connection is making us gravitate toward each other.”
“Careful, Folami,” the Bondsmith’s voice darkened as her expression hardened. “Careful what you say about True Bonds. Meru granted them as a way to heal the magic in Elyria, and it can take them away just as quickly.”
I gulped past a stone in my throat, nodding my head in acknowledgement.
The Bondsmith’s face cleared once more as if that thundering anger was never even present.
“Just because the Bond draws you together, does that make your connection any less true?”
I blinked at her words, surprised at the truth that rattled around my mind with that statement.
The Bondsmith smiled knowingly at me, hands pausing their perusal of other gowns.
“You know that it’s okay to forgive, Folami.” Her voice was soft, cajoling. One that had my heart thumping wildly in my chest. Iwantedto forgive, maybe already even had, but I’d clung to my anger for so long that I wore it now like a second skin. “It’s okay to let go of what’s no longer serving you.”
Could I, though? Could I release my anger over my Forced Bond, over the torture that I received at his hands? Could I separate him from Lex in my mind if we were to Bond?
“Just something to think about,” she said with a shrug, turning back to her gowns as if she didn’t just push my world off its axis.
