A thousand questions bounced around my mind, but they all fled the moment Rohak opened his mouth once more.
“In Alois’ study, hidden behind some sort of bookshelf.”
My hands halted, thumbs opening the book to a random page before I let it fall closed with an audiblethunkin the dark, small space.
“It washidden?” I asked, excitement and trepidation warring for dominance. Rohak grunted something that fell between a laugh and agreement as his hand came up to gently caress the cover of the book.
“There’s runes etched into this cover. You can’t see them very well in this light, but they’re there. And I have no idea how to read them.” The last part was said with a mixture of frustration and longing.
“Do—do youwantto learn to read them?” I asked.
Rohak grunted again, pulling his palm away from the mysterious book.
“Could be helpful, considering my Bonded is a Rune Master and the only person in Elyria fully fluent.”
“I’m not. My mother knows, too,” I blurted suddenly, both wanting to get the secret off my chest and uncomfortable with the praise Rohak was all too willing to shower upon me.
“You mentioned that earlier,” he hedged. I glanced a look at his face, finding it easier to confess things to him in the secrecy the darkness offered.
I sighed, leaning back against the chair. It creaked with my weight, but settled.
“Fate is my grandfather, the Bondsmith is my mother. I discovered a letter from her a few months back. Torin was with me”—Rohak stiffened imperceptibly at the mention of another man—“It was after you Bonded with Gisei.”
Rohak said nothing, but I could feel the conflict down the Bond.
“We didn’t do anything,” I said hurriedly, not wanting him to think I’d slept with someone else. “He’s Ellowyn’s, and I’d never betray a friend. Besides, I wouldn’t simply jump into bed with someone else. You’re buried too deep inside here”—I pressed against my sternum—“even then.”
My confession hung between us like heavy summer air. The longer Rohak was silent, the more I fidgeted, convinced I’d admitted too much.
“So you found a letter?” His voice shook slightly, but I couldn’t tell from what emotion; the Bond was still locked too tight.
I nodded, even though he could barely see.
“Yes. I found a letter in my pack from Isrun. It was from the Bondsmith, explaining everything while saying nothing. She knew Torin would end up in that room with me—there was a part of the letter about him.”
Rohak sucked in a breath of surprise, and I laughed ruefully.
“Still left many more questions than answers, I’m afraid. At least I knew Holt was actually my father, and she is my mother. A little too late, if you ask me.”
Rohak was silent for a moment longer, his hand rasping against his pants as he thought.
“Perhaps it was all she could offer at the time. Perhaps, if you were to see her, there would be more.”
“I don’t know if I want more,” I said immediately, the words like acid on my tongue. Despite the subterfuge, Ididstill want more from my mother. I just wasn’t in the space to accept or pursue it.
“Anyway, she can also read runes. But seeing she’s in Lishahl, I’m your best bet,” I finished lamely. Luckily, Rohak let it go, though I knew he’d find a way to poke that festering wound again later.
“Even if she were here, I would still want you to teach me, Faylinn. You’re my Bonded now . . . we should probably learn to at least coexist together.”
I nodded harshly, my heart plummeting and hands growing numb at his dismissal of our new relationship. If coexistence is all he wanted, then I would do my best to give him only that.
“Speaking of, we’re going to need to find a way to quietthis Bond,” I said, pressing my sternum once more. “I’m not sure about you, but this entire time, it’s wanted me to crawl into your lap and burrow there.”
“Same,” he grunted.
“The Bond wants you to climb into my lap?” I teased. Rohak laughed half-heartedly before he shook his head and adjusted his position in the chair.
“No, it wants you close. On me, me in you, as close as two people can be.” His tone was carefully neutral; the Bond closed to all of my experimental prodding.
