Unconsciously, I released a thin strand of Pleasure Magic into the room, instantly relaxing the occupants. Embarrassed at my lack of control around the brooding Vessel, I quickly tamped down on the flow of power. Instantly, Peytor’s glower returned in full force, his eyes flashing with hostility.
“Don’t you have any sense of self-worth tonotreleasethatin the presence of children?” he seethed through clenched teeth.
Chagrined and hot with embarrassment, I turned pleading eyes to Folami.
“I—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I just?—”
“Lost control. You lost control. See! Itoldyou. He’s dangerous, Folami,” Peytor growled once more before striding for the exit, the door banging loudly on his way out. Itanya shuffled off the bed, slightly cowed by Peytor’s explosion, and I instantly wanted to take her in my arms and cuddle away the bad feelings.
“I’m sorry, Itanya,” I mumbled to the little girl who simply shrugged her shoulders.
“It’s okay,” she said quietly. “Daddy has just struggled a bit since mommy’s been back. It’ll be okay.” She whispered the last part as if she desperately was trying to convince herself. Folami looked like her heart had been torn into pieces at Itanya’s admittance. She reached one long-fingered hand up to stroke Itanya’s unruly curls before laying a gentle, sad kiss on her forehead.
“You know he’s not angry with you,” she whispered against her daughter’s forehead. I dutifully looked away, uncomfortable eavesdropping on a private moment.
“I know, Mommy.” Itanya’s voice was still chipper, but there was an undercurrent of sadness there, too.
She, like all children, only ever deserved to be happy.
The door opened and shut a second time, though the closing was much quieter. The softsnickof the lock had my head turning back, surprised to see Folami still in the armchair nearest my bed. Her hands played absently with the fibers of her pants, periodically picking at straythreads.
After a heavy stretch of silence, I interrupted quietly.
“If it’s too much, I can leave. The last thing I want to do is ruin whatever semblance of a life you’ve created for yourself here. I certainly don’t want to come between your daughter and her father, nor do I wish to ruin the relationship you clearly have with d’Aelius.” My words were soft and full of pain, but I meant every one of them. “I know what it’s like to feel a kinship with someone who is not blood, to love them with every fiber of my being, and I would never forgive myself if my presence and the potential of the Bond destroyed any of that.”
I rubbed my sternum absently as the empty hole where my Pain Bond should reside pulsed in sadness. The fact that the other third of my soul wasright thereand I couldn’t fill that void was a type of agony I wouldn’t wish on any person, but Folami deserved to make her own decision. I would never presume to take that away from her, especially knowing her past and now seeing her future.
Forcing her to Bond me for my own selfishness would just as easily kill me from regret and self-loathing.
Folami never moved her gaze from her lap, never even acknowledged that she heard my words. With a soft, sad sigh, I squeezed Ilyas’ hand. The sea in his eyes tumbled with my shared despair, but I knew he agreed; there was no way we’d let Folami sacrifice her free will and the happiness of her family just so I could have a Bond.
It would make us no better than Lord d’Refan.
Minutes passed without any response from Folami.
“If you can spare a horse, Ilyas and I will leave for Vespera in the morning. I don’t want my presence?—”
“No.” Folami’s head sprang up, her eyes flashing with anger and fear before cooling once more. My eyebrows rose in response as I waited patiently for her to continue.
“No,” she reiterated with a firm shake of her head. “I—I can’t promise you anything, Lex. I can’t guarantee that I’ll want to Bond you or that Peytor will accept you here in Lishahl or that your presence won’t create tension between him and I. But . . . I don’t want you to leave. I don’t actually think I could handle it if you left, now that I know you exist.” Folami frowned as she admitted the last part, almost as if the words slipped unbidden from her lips.
A sad, accepting smile pulled at my mouth as I nodded in acquiescence.
“Okay, then. We’ll stay. But I want to be as out of your way as possible. Make no mistake, Folami, I plan to pursue you. Show you that I’m different than what you’ve experienced in the past. Even if it’s just to show you that not all Mages, not all Bonds, are the same. I want to know you, want to know Itanya. I’ll even get to know the d’Aelius heir, if that’s what it takes. You deserve someone who is invested completely, Folami.”
Her dark skin pinked slightly, even as she rolled her eyes.
A defense mechanism. Clearly she doesn’t think she’s worthy of that. Looks like we’ll have to change that thought.I always loved a good challenge.
“That’s just the Bond talking, Lex,” Folami admonished with a sigh, pushing out of the armchair.
“It’s not,” I said firmly, causing her to turn back around. “You are strong and beautiful. Any man would be blessed to Bond you, but it is an honor and privilege to court you.”
Folami stood halfway between the bed and door, utterly speechless.
I felt rather than saw Ilyas grin next to me.
“Everything he said rings true for me as well, myayaba.” It’d been years since I’d heard Ilyas speak his native tongue, and I watched in pleasant fascination as Folami’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped.
