I tightened my hands on my reins, trying to ground myself in the moment in preparation for the battle to come rather than let my thoughts run as wild as the plains we trekked through.
It was of no use.
Two days ago, we set out to Vespera from Kiluo, while Solace and the remainder of her forces went northward in search of the child that would bring a swift end to the Elyrian defenses. Unfortunately for Solace, it seemed that my letter had found its mark, the child whisked away and the village abandoned before Solace and Razia could reach them.
Unfortunately for us, Solace’s timeline for war escalated immensely. Razia sent a letter to the commander of Samyr’s forces—one I’d had to read over hisshoulder since he refused to share the information with me—explaining their trajectory and our role.
Less than twelve hours later, our army was packed and mounted, ready to depart and wreak havoc upon the soldiers stationed in Vespera, while Solace attacked from the north.
It was a good plan, schematically. Solidly constructed and, depending on execution, could assure her a swift victory in Elyria.
So why wasn’t I excited about that prospect?
I should be reveling in the battle to come, in the slick of blood against steel, anticipating the moment my blade sank past the resistance of flesh and bone to find the soft, vulnerable parts beneath.
But every time I visualized the upcoming fight, faceless bodies were replaced with people I knew. People I trained with. People I—at one point—had loved.
Despite my disgust toward Lex and his alliance with General d’Alvey, I didn’t want to see him killed.
Did I?
“Halt!” Commander Takeshi called, holding his fist high in the air for the Mages mounted in the back of our carefully sectioned lines to see. As one, the clomping of hooves stopped, the air eerily still once more.
I chewed my lip and adjusted myself in the saddle, waiting for his next instruction.
It became ever clearer the longer the gods took refuge in Samyr that I was a figurehead at best—a tool they could manipulate in order to curate their desired outcome. Even the commander of the Samyrian army was given more consideration, his words holding more weight in the war room despite my intimate knowledge of Vespera.
I hated it. Hated what I was reduced to; first a pawn for my father, then for King d’Refan, now for Solace.
Was this the legacy I would leave?
The commander brought his horse out of line, turning his mount to face his army. The horse stomped his hoof in impatience, as if he could prematurely taste death in the air.
“Over these hills lies Vespera. Their walls are high and their ranks deep. But we hold the element of surprise. You are to hit them hard and where it hurts most. Do not relent, do not show mercy. They stand between us and our goddess and must be eliminated—by any means necessary.”
A hair-raising grunted shout of bloodthirsty affirmation echoed against the slowly undulating hills. I mashed my lips together, refusing to take part in their excitement.
How could I be excited to kill the people on the other side of the hills? Would I be forced to bleed those that I loved? UnAwakened children?
The thought made me nauseous.
“First line of Mages! You will remove the wall that surrounds the city. Move the earth and bring the wind. All lines after that will enter as soon as the barrier is removed. You will charge and you will not stop until the city’s water turns red with the blood of our enemies. I want to taste death on the air before the day is through, and I wish to bathe in their defeat,” Commander Takeshi snarled, a wicked gleam in his dark eyes.
Feral smiles and a deranged sort of anticipation sparked through the army, many prematurely drawing their powers forth.
“Lady d’Hida,” Commander Takeshi sneered my name, pulling my head to his with a jerk. “You will lead the charge. After all, you know the city best, do you not?” His voice was a silky challenge.
I swallowed thickly past the lump in my throat, slowly disassociating.
I would do what I had to in order to survive, just as I always had and just as I always would.
With a gnash of my teeth and a snarl, I gave the final command, ignoring the gleeful light in the commander’s eyes.
“ATTACK!”
Chapter One Hundred One
Lex
