“Was that . . .Kaos?” I asked, blinking rapidly. The god was elusive, not to mention dangerous, and nearly the same obsidian as the Academy. If not for the faint glow of Faylinn’s Mage Orb and the rumble of his voice as he made a parting remark to my Bonded, I never would have realized he was here.
That potential was beyond worrisome.
A rogue god that we couldn’t see or track? One that was taking the liberty of appearing at random before potentially planting lies in Faylinn’s head?
Brow bent toward my eyes, and steps hurried by my jumbled thoughts, I strode toward Faylinn, her hunched posture illuminated by the thin beam of light trickling in from the hallway.. She sat, brows drawn inward, staring at the spot Kaos last occupied, refusing to acknowledge my presence even as I drew closer.
The dark circles and dullness of Faylinn’s eyes were more prominent than ever, but even more troublesome was the hollowness to her cheeks, the shake of her fingers. Ever since the attack on Imena that forced our allies to flee into the mountains before reaching the safety of Alvor, she’d flung herself into research, hellbent on discovering something that could help us win the war against the gods.
The fact that she was no closer to finding answers than she was months ago weighed heavy.
“Faylinn,” I mumbled when I was finally close enough to reach out and run my thumb down her cheek. She’d been careful—too cautious, in my opinion—about maintaining her distance from me sexually. If it weren’t for the lust andwant that periodically slipped through her well-constructed walls, I’d think she trulydidn’tdesire me or this Bond. True to her darkest, innermost feelings, Faylinn sucked in a breath at my touch, her skin prickling with faint goosebumps.
“Rohak, tell me about that day,” she said, eyes finally finding mine.
“Which day, Faylinn?” I asked, my hand dropping away from her face to land in her lap as I crouched down.
“The day the Valley fell. The day Alois massacred the Keepers.”
Chills erupted down my spine before heat exploded in my veins, the combination causing sweat to suddenly bead on my brow and down my back.
Two decades, and I still could hear their dying screams and pleas for mercy that would never come; could still smell the acrid smoke as their bodies and homes burned, Fire Mages wielding terrible power.
Two decades, and I could still feel the blade as it bit into the Matriarch’s neck, slicing through sinew and aging flesh as hot blood spilled on the floor, covering my boots and the stone beneath.
The nightmares stopped but the memories remained.
“Why?” I croaked. “Why ask now?”
It was no secret that I was involved with the massacre, had helped plan the entire operation as Alois’ General.
But despite Faylinn’s thirst for knowledge, she’d never asked about that fateful day. Never wanted to peek behind the curtain to the darkness beneath.
“I’ll tell you, Faylinn, but I need you to promise me something,” I husked.
She nodded once. “Anything.”
“Please . . . don’t think differently about me,” I pleaded, eyes wide and beseeching. Something moved in her expression, an understanding and softness that I didn’t deserve.
“Never, Rohak,” Faylinn whispered solemnly. “Never.”
Faylinn sighed,tension easing from her posture as she gripped my hands. At some point during my story, she’d slid from the chair and climbed into my lap, wrapping her limbs around me in comfort. Her heart beating against mine, the heat of her body, the smell of her hair, all of it calmed, helped me trudge through my retelling, no matter how much I longed to simply stop and forget.
“I’ve never spoken about that day with anyone,” I realized as I absently stroked her hair from where it’d come loose from its bun. My fingers wove through her curls, tangling and snagging at points, but I calmly detangled them before combing through her locks once more.
Faylinn lifted her face from my chest. Her large hazel eyes were bright withemotion and a hint of reverence that I thought would be squashed completely after bearing witness to my sins.
“Never?” she asked, and I shook my head.
“Seems like an awfully long time to hold something as heavy as that, Rohak,” Faylinn admonished slightly. I hummed in agreement.
“Who would I have shared that with? Everyone that was close to me was there that day, wrestling with their own demons. It would have been unfair to burden them further.”
“Lex,” Faylinn said immediately, recognizing the person I spoke about. I nodded. “Maybe, once this is all over, you need to speak with him about it. The guilt he holds, Rohak. It’s perhaps deeper than yours, even.”
My fingers paused in her hair as I mulled over her words. Did Lex truly harbor so much responsibility for what happened that day? And, if he did, how had it not drowned him? How was he still so . . . Lex?
“Don’t think too hard on it,” Faylinn said, patting my cheek lightly as she rose from my lap, causing my hand to fall from her hair. To my surprise, she stood just enough to spin so we were now pressed chest-to-chest, the heat of her core branding my lower abdomen. Reflexively, my arms wrapped around her back, pulling her flush until the space between our bodies evaporated completely. My forehead fell to hers as I gazed into her mesmerizing eyes, the flecks of deepest forest and brightest sun twinkling in the light.
