Even with the obvious uncertainty that guided him here, there was something simply magnetic about him. It was the intensity with which he lived his life—every action was purposeful, every word carefully measured. He loved hard, kept those he cared for close, and protected them with every fiber of his being. It was simply the way Peytor d’Aelius was created, and I couldn’t help but be drawn to him.
Secretly, I still wanted him to join our triad, wanted to be one of those people he so ardently loved and fiercely protected, though it was a desire I’d buried in the wake of the attack on Lishahl.
“Find—” he cleared his throat before continuing. “Find anything yet?”
I shook my head, closing my eyes so I wouldn’t have to see any disappointment or pain in Peytor’s expression.
“She’s not doing well, Lex.”
The comment snapped my eyes open once more, my gaze fixed on the d’Aelius heir.
“You don’t think I know that?” I hissed, pain lancing through my chest.
Peytor shook his head, chestnut waves bouncing around his shoulders. His denial incensed me because the insinuation was worse than his original accusation.
“Then you think I know and simply don’t care? That I’m just, what? Wasting my time in here, hiding away from her?”
Peytor widened his stance and puffed out his chest as if preparing for a verbal battle. Despite the topic of our argument, I felt my cock twitch at the defiance in his gaze, in the hard set of his jaw.
“Which is it, d’Aelius? How little do you really think of me?” I spat, my own hurt over Peytor’s apparent disgust with me bleeding into my question.
“I don’t, Lex. I know you care for her, but have you even tried to get her to talk about it?”
“Have you?” I fired back, gesturing wildly with my palm. I felt my anger building, a rising inferno that was difficult to contain.Monthsof searching, and I’d come up with fucking nothing. The feelings of incompetence and that I just wasn’tgood enoughfor Folami threatened to pull me under completely each day. Now, however, they boiled together into something far more raw and visceral.
I pushed up from my chair, hands slapping against the desk as I fixed Peytor with a sneer.
Anger flashed in his eyes like lightning before a storm.
“Youare her Mage,” he gritted between his teeth, muscles beneath his tight cream tunic distracting me momentarily.
“And you are her lover,” I whispered, the fight bleeding from my limbs. Peytor reared back in shock, his expression almost comical if the situation weren’t so dire.
“You are not?” he asked, furrowing his brow in confusion. The fight seemed to drain from him, too, as I hesitantly shook my head.
“No,” I croaked in distraught admittance. “No. Not since we Bonded. It was necessary for the Bond to snap into place, but . . .” I gestured at the parchments beneath my hands. “You know what happened.”
“But you both looked so . . . happy at the wedding.”
“Yes. But then Itanya was taken when we relaxed.”
Laughing roughly with a shake of my head, I removed my hands from the desk and tucked them beneath my arms.
“Everything changed,” I said lowly, studying the maps on the desk with an unfocused gaze. “Everything except her love for you.”
Peytor grunted as if the statement actually made physical impact.
“I—” he paused. “It was never my intention to take her from you.”
“Just as it was never my intention to take her from you.” I raised my gaze to meet his. There was pain there in his eyes, confusion, and a reluctant respect aswell. “Can’t you see, Peytor? I never wanted you on the outside of us. You were always integral to Folami and, thus, integral to our triad. Like it or not, you’ve always been a part of our group, just on the fringe.”
Peytor chewed his lower lip for a moment, seemingly lost in thought. When he didn’t say anything more, I shook my head and sat heavily in the chair once more.
“Go, Peytor. Go be with Folami. Comfort her in whatever way she needs,” I said tiredly. I pushed the back of my head into the chair, hoping to relieve some of the building tension.
“And if I want to join?” His question was quiet, a bit timid.
I stopped rocking my head back and forth, pausing to ruminate over his question.
