‘No. Of course not.’
‘I wish you and I could talk alone.’
‘We can’t,’ she says quickly.
‘Now? Or ever?’
‘We won’t see each other again after today.’
‘Why? Because Lewis won’t let you see me again?’
‘We only agreed to meet you so that you’d leave us alone. You need to stop … what you’re doing. Stop following me around.’ She looks up at me. There are tears in her eyes. ‘I don’t want to see you.’
‘I’m not here because I want us to be friends again,’ I say. ‘If you don’t want that then I don’t either. All I want is to know that you and your children are all right – your two youngest children, who have the same names as your two oldest. Don’t they?’
She says nothing. Her eyes flit back and forth.
‘Why, Flora? Why would you do that? I’ve seen Yanina picking Thomas up. They didn’t look at each other or speak to each other. I’m worried for him and Emily. I saw him walking along with the sole of his shoe hanging off. Even if you don’t care about yourself, you should care about those children.’
‘I care,’ she says.
‘Well, then, you must know they’re not okay. And you’re not okay either. Let me help. Tell me what’s going on before Lewis comes back. We don’t have to wait here for him. We could go somewhere else where—’
‘I don’t need your help. I don’t need you to worry about me.’
‘If you don’t want to talk to me, why are you here?’
‘Lewis says we have to, otherwise you won’t ever leave us alone, and that’s all I want: for you to leave me alone.’ Instead, Lewis has left her alone with me. Why? He could have easily let her go with him to the car.
It would have looked odd, though – her trotting after him like a slave. And he knows he’s trained her well enough that she won’t say anything. Unless … No. Unless nothing. Every time I find myself starting to wonder if maybe Flora’s the one in control, I think back to the way she and Lewis were when I knew them before.
He’s the boss. Always was, always will be.
‘Who’s Chimpy?’ I ask.
Flora looks puzzled, as I expected her to. ‘Chimpy? I don’t know.’
‘I’m sorry about Georgina,’ I tell her. ‘When I saw you outside your house in Hemingford Abbots, you were talking on the phone. I heard you say that you were very lucky. To lose a child isn’t lucky.’
‘You think I don’t know that?’
‘Why did you describe yourself as lucky? It might sound like a strange question, but I heard you say it twice. Once was outside the house and the other time was when Lewis first rang me, after I sent him a message on Instagram. I heard you in the background saying those exact same words: “I’m very lucky”.’
‘Iamlucky.’ She looks away. ‘Only people with nothing to live for are unlucky. Do you think that because Georgina died, I have nothing to live for? I have other children, and I love them.’
‘How many?’
‘What?’
‘How many other children do you have? What are their names?’
‘How can you do this to me?’ she whispers. ‘I’ve told you I don’t want it. The children are fine.’
‘Flora, they’re not. They’re …’Too late. Lewis is back. My time alone with Flora has run out. I try not to feel frustrated. It’s not as if the conversation was going well.
‘I’m good to go,’ Lewis says. ‘No bag, no concealed weapons.’ He twirls around. ‘Do you want to pat me down?’
‘Wait here,’ I say. ‘I need to use the bathroom. Then we can go up.’
