Strong arms wrapped around me and tugged me back.
“Let me go.” The words slipped out through sobs.
“Stop.”
Another phantom voice. So clear, as if echoing in my head. The syllable rang in my ears, sliced through my stomach with sharp precision. Taunting me. Telling me I was too late.
“I need... I have to get to... Please...” I tried to yell but the sound trickled out in a whisper overwhelmed by the cacophony of noise building around me.
“Hanna, you can’t.”
The arms holding me gave me a little shake. The move was enough. I blinked and tried to turn but the hold didn’t have any give. My fatigued body fought against going limp.
“I’ve got you.”
The voice sounded stronger that time. Closer.
“Jeremy?” I looked over my shoulder. Relief died a withering death. “No.”
“You’re okay.”
Lukas. Hair ruffled. Dressed like he’d been out running. Smelling like the rancid smoke-filled air whirling around me.
“How did you...” The words crashed in my head. So many. “Jeremy.”
“The firefighters are working. He’ll need you to be strong.”
My knees gave out and my vision blurred. Tears ran down my cheeks.
“Is he okay?”
Lukas didn’t answer. He pulled me close. Kept me from falling down. But his strength didn’t ease the ache or the need to crawl into the fire and throw a protective shield over Jeremy.
My body collapsed in on itself and my brain retreated to a safe place filled with clean air and bright sunshine even as smoke wound around us, cutting us off from breathable air and clear thinking. Firefighters scurried as they held the giant hoses.
After what felt like forever, the angry flames began to lose their bluster. Water poured into the building. Ricocheted off its sides. The fierce spray filled the air.
I made every promise I could think of. I’d never been the praying type, but I begged the universe to pull Jeremy out of the fiery grave or assure me that the talk of finding a body was just one more trick my mind had played on me. One more punishment for years of lies and omissions.
“He has to be okay.” The words rolled out of me even as my brain rejected them.
“He’s okay.” Lukas repeated the words in a scratchy voice roughened by noxious fumes.
I needed him to believe it. I craved reassurance.
The shouting grew louder. Three firefighters burst out of the deteriorating wood around the side door. They held something. The ambulance crew rushed in before I could get a clear view.
I grabbed Lukas’s arm. “They found him.”
He still wouldn’t let me go.
The crowd around the unmoving body shifted. I tried to bend down, go up on tiptoes, whatever it took to steal a peek. “I need to see him.”
The wall of firefighter uniforms parted for a second. The smoke made my eyes water. Panic had every nerve ending firing on blast.
“Jeremy!” I shouted, forcing my voice to ring out over the thundering noise.
“No...”
