There’s conflicting evidence that points in several directions and Patrick’s affairs muddle things. He’d always been weak and died a weak man. His weakness was the main reason I left Jeremy alone. You told me once you wanted him to thrive and that could only happen without me in his life. You weren’t wrong.
Aubrey survived. She lived in silence with my help for reasons that made sense at the time. I fear she followed in my footsteps. That she can kill without remorse as I once did. Unlike Jeremy, she shares my ruthless, driven personality. He has your blood. Never forget she has mine.
The trustee fee and family trust belong to you and Jeremy because you’re the only people who might not be corrupted by thewindfall. I hope that’s my legacy: that I made the right choice when it counted.
You will never believe me, but I love you, Hanna. Always have. I loved you when I hated you. I loved you enough to leave you alone. Now I’ll love you without being able to hurt you again. I hope that’s enough.
Marni’s eyes were huge. “Wow.”
Stella shook her head. “Xavier talking about love?”
“Do you think he meant it?” Jeremy asked.
No. Xavier wasn’t capable of love. Not love in the way Jeremy understood it. Xavier believed in control and ownership. Nothing in the note changed that or how he treated his family or me or, most importantly, what he did to Dea.
I handed Jeremy the note because it represented the best of Xavier. His attempt at a meaningful and endearing gesture. It didn’t wipe away the unforgivable, but the writing wasn’t ranting and threatening, gaslighting and belittling. Let Jeremy remember his father without that baggage.
I nodded. “It’s enough.”
Chapter Seventy-Three
Marni
Two days later we stood in the circular part of the driveway of what was now Jeremy and Hanna’s property and watched the last of the police vehicles and forensic team pull around from the side and back of the property and finally leave. The threat of an early November snowstorm had people finishing their jobs and rushing home.
The detective had removed the yellow tape. No one bothered to return the lawn to its original state. That would be Hanna and Jeremy’s job.
Clouds rolled in and the air grew still. I looked at the bare trees and the churned soil in what had once been the vibrant wildflower garden. “Do you think the gardener will come back?”
“I wouldn’t.” Hanna snuggled deeper into her jacket as she glanced up at the gray sky. “I’m hoping the snow will cover the worst of it. For now.”
Jeremy shot his mother a side glance. “We’re redesigningthe entire lawn. That’s only the beginning. I actually spent most of last night looking up house cleansing rituals.”
“You believe in that?” Stella asked.
He snorted. “I do now.”
Hanna and Jeremy had each other. Hanna said they still had a lot to work through about Xavier, but I doubted that would be as tough a climb as she feared. Jeremy stood by her side, even now, watching over her. Protecting her. She’d raised a good son despite his father’s genes.
Stella glanced at the closed door to the back of the house. “Are you going to be okay here?”
Hanna shrugged. “For now. Honestly, I can’t make one more major life decision. Daniela and I are going to rebuild the café, with her as my partner this time. We’ll see where we go from there.”
Daniela was on the mend. Stella was not as lucky. She had a disastrous mess at work, trying to explain to patients and the court why she didn’t “see” the actions of her former husband and her mother. Rumors about her mother starting more than one fire flared to life. Stella didn’t bother to bat them away, which probably meant those were true, too.
Lukas and Isabel insisted on their innocence for various crimes back then and recently. The ongoing lies only stained Stella’s reputation further. She talked about finding a new career, but it was more likely she’d run through the money Xavier left her on lawyers for her mom. Stella talked tough about cutting Isabel off, but she wouldn’t.
Stella often acted nastier than she needed to be to cover whatever fears and insecurities life had saddled her with, but she was decent. She hid it well, but she was. She’d made a terribledecision, a series of them, actually, but who hadn’t? Even Hanna had regrets.
We all shared a terrible taste in men. Most of Stella’s actions going forward would be guided by her love for Everly instead.
That left me. Alone as always. A dragging sadness had my body moving at half speed. I’d grieved for years, thinking I’d drained every last tear. But I appeared to have an endless supply. My life was inextricably tied to the Tanner family in an unwanted bond I could not break.
Brilliant, flawed Patrick. The man I once believed to be my great love and who I now saw as the other half of a doomed, tragic, wrong love affair. Victoria, a woman pushed to the brink. The role I played in giving her a shove would haunt me forever.
Forgiveness. Solace. I didn’t bother chasing either. Maybe my soul didn’t deserve rest.
I continued my breathing exercises and mind puzzles. On Tuesday I’d head back to the therapist. Start again. Learn new tricks to survive the day. The principal told me I could return to work. He acted like I should thank him. Instead, I requested a leave of absence, citing my treatment by the school system as the reason.
