His lips brush over mine like a whisper.
“You make it sound so easy. You make victory certain,” I breathe into him.
“It’s not easy. I need you to know how hard it will be for me. Asking me not to kiss you is like telling a drowning man who sees shore not to kick and swim. It’s forcing me to suffer, a burning cold suffocating death that fills my lungs; begging me to allow the water to replace the feelings I have for you.” He shakes his head. “As if water could wash away what I feel.”
He moves. Our first kiss burns into my cheek. I want to turn my face. I want his lips on mine, where they belong, not on the side, disguised as a friendship.
“Sometimes life is more peaceful under the surface, Titus. At least you can survive.”
He presses our foreheads together. “Survive? You think denying what my heart wants is surviving? You think watching you shine in the light as I am trapped under the currents of our problems is surviving?”
He glides his fingers down my neck, finding my pulse point so he can cradle it.
“Don’t you understand? I can’t survive because I haven’t begun living yet. Now that I have found you, everything is altered. Everything I thought I loved has shifted; everything that brought me joy is empty. Absolutely nothing compares to you, Selene. When I can openly admit you are my mate, that is the day I am born, and then I will fight to survive.”
He leans close, teasing my lips as he presses his over mine again. “When I kiss you,” his nostrils flare as he pulls away, “you will no longer be Galen’s queen. You will be mine.”
Chapter
Thirty-Three
Selene
Shadows move like smoke over our skin as Tristen steps back into the protective cloud he made for us. I ought to distance myself from Titus, but I lean closer to my mate. It’s so natural, like a branch arching to feel the sun so it can be nourished, grow, and thrive. But I can't flourish until I replant us, take us far away from this toxic soil, from Galen. We have to wait, be like Everett was, and think of the future of everyone and not just ourselves.
“Time’s up.” Tristen’s eyes look at me accusingly before they turn to sorrow. He thinks I could have prevented this bond.
My eyes trace his shadows as they cling to him, curling around his limbs like cats purring in glee. I’ve only seen him use his shadows as a shield. I wonder how he uses them as weapons.
"We need to coordinate and plan the next step. Everything's moving too fast." Tristen rubs his neck. "All this crap—Sable leaving, Galen, and now this." He looks at Titus and me. "No offense, Selene," he pauses, "Actually, I'm glad to offend. Your brother's an asshole!"
“Tristen.” Titus’s grip on me tightens.
“He is. He was!” Tristen snaps as he corrects himself. “Why couldn’t we have gotten a heads up like oh, sparks are going to fly, oh, and everywhere you turn is a spy I planted! I’m gonna kick you down, shove your face in the dirt. But don’t worry because one of my spies will help you up!”
My ribs press into my lungs. Tristen speaks the truth. Everett’s path both feeds and slaps you as you chew.
I look down at my hands, grasping Titus. As soon as Tristen lowers his shadows, we must let go. It should be easy to step back from Titus, like a drop of water leaving a glass. I know there is more of him. I will be with him all day, as he is my guard.
But over time, drop after drop, it gets harder. Soon, nothing will be left.I won’t be able to let go of my mate.
“He’s right. I don’t know how long Galen will allow me to be here. I’m sure he suspects I’m in my room resting; when he hears I’m at my training field, he will force me back inside.”
Tristen saunters forward and sits next to Titus. A cloud of his shadows remains, hugging his legs like a thin veil of protection. “King Galen has his hands full for a while. All his soldiers think their morning blood was poisoned.” He glances at Titus, and if the shadows could growl in warning, his did.
“What?” My spine stiffens. Did Sable make her first attack against Galen?
Tristen juts his chin forward. “You gonna tell her or me?”
Titus scratches his sculpted jaw and replies, “I drank my morning blood, but… I accidentally spat it out.”
I hold his hand tightly. “Why?” Is it the time-weaving magic? He’s been doing well, finding ways to soothe it so it doesn’t overtake him.
Has he mastered it? No, but he’s getting better. We upped his blood intake to half the normal amount. We had been planningto start a new lesson this week. Instead of him soothing it, I wanted him to try to activate it. Learn to work alongside it.
“Because now that the mate bond is setting in, he can’t drink blood.” Tristen pushes his shadow towards me. Titus starts to wave them away, but I shock him when I reach a hand out, as one would toward a stray cat. Shadows curl around my fingers like velvet fur.
That’s it. Learn to trust me.
