“I’m sorry,” Connor said quietly. “I know this is hard for you. The waiting.”
Leyden’s chest constricted. “Don’t apologize. You’re not doing anything wrong.”
“I’m touching you more. Looking at you more.” Connor’s jaw tightened. “I should’ve known it would make things more difficult for you.”
“Connor.” Leyden turned to face him fully. “I’m not complaining. What you’re doing right now, gaining confidence in touching and looking at me is everything I wanted. My body’s response isn’t your responsibility.”
Connor’s fingers tightened on his book. “But you have to deal with it. Have to take care of yourself because I’m not ready for more.”
Heat flooded Leyden’s face. “I don’t mind,” Leyden said, and he did mean it. “Taking care of myself is easy. Being with you, having you trust me enough to explore your feelings - that’s the part that matters.”
Connor searched his face. “You’re not angry? Frustrated?”
“Sexually frustrated, yeah.” Leyden managed a rueful smile. “But I’m not angry about it. I’d never be angry at you being yourself.”
“Thank you. For being patient.” Leyden’s fingers were enclosed in Connor’s hand. “Honestly, thank you.”
Leyden brought Connor’s knuckles to his lips, pressing a soft kiss there. “You’re worth waiting for.”
/~/~/~/~/
By Friday, Leyden was ready to climb the walls. There was nothing wrong in the pack. The rogues had apparently taken him at his word and disappeared, and things were quiet…safe. But Leyden was keyed up enough to fight a war single-handedly.
Connor had asked to touch him again that morning. Just his chest, hands exploring muscle and skin with growing confidence. Leyden had stood perfectly still, letting Connor do what he wanted to do, all the while his body screamed for more.
Afterward, Connor had kissed him. Sweet and slow, and then he’d gone off to run patrol checks, leaving Leyden with a cock that wouldn’t quit.
Determined to ignore his dick, Leyden retreated to the bedroom and called his mom.
“Leyden.” Catherine’s warm voice filled the line. “How are you, sweetheart?”
“I need advice.” The words tumbled out before Leyden could second-guess them. “About Connor. About... waiting. You’re the only person I could think of to call.”
Not even waiting for his mom to say anything Leyden continued, “I love him, I swear I do. And I meant everything I said about being willing to wait, about valuing our emotional connection over sex. But Mom, my body is constantly wound tight. I can barely function some days. And I feel guilty for wanting more when he’s already giving me everything he can.”
“Oh, honey.” Catherine said softly. “You’re a normal healthy shifter. You’re allowed to feel desire for your mate.”
“But he’s trying so hard. Pushing himself to be comfortable with touch, exploring his sexuality at his own pace. And here I am, jerking off multiple times a day because I can’t handle being close to him without getting aroused.”
“Leyden James, stop that right now.”
Leyden blinked at the sudden change in his mom’s tone.
“You are not doing anything wrong,” Catherine said firmly. “Connor is your fated mate. Of course your body responds to him. That’s natural and healthy. Taking care of your physical needs privately so you don’t pressure Connor? That’s respectful and mature.”
“It feels greedy.”
“It’s biology, sweetheart. You’re an alpha shifter with a strong sex drive who’s found his mate. Your body is going to react. The important part is what you’re doing with those reactions. You’re handling them yourself, giving Connor space to develop his sexuality without pressure. You’re doing everything exactly right.”
Leyden’s throat tightened. “I just want him to know I’m not waiting for sex to be happy. I’m happy now. With what we have.”
“Does Connor know that?”
“I’ve told him.”
“Then trust him to believe you.” Catherine paused. “And Leyden? This waiting, this patience you’re showing - it’s building something stronger than any quick physical connection ever could. When you and Connor do eventually make love, it will mean more than any casual encounter you’ve ever had. Because it will be rooted in everything you’ve developed together as a couple.”
Leyden absorbed that, something settling in his chest.
