“Who could give Leyden what he needs.” Janet looked miserable. “I don’t believe it, Connor. Neither do most of us. But Lonnie’s persistent, and he’s got some people wondering if maybe…”
“If maybe I’m not good enough.”
“I didn’t say that.”
“You didn’t have to.” Connor’s chest constricted. “Who’s listening to him?”
Janet rattled off names - mostly younger wolves, a few older ones Connor hadn’t connected with yet. Not a majority, but enough to matter. Enough to plant seeds of doubt.
“Some are saying Leyden’s too loyal to see what’s obvious.” Janet’s voice dropped. “That you’re a liability he’s too honorable to acknowledge.”
Connor’s wolf snarled internally, but he kept his expression neutral. “Thanks for telling me.”
“Connor…”
“I need to go.”
He walked away before she could finish, heading toward the woods. His mind raced, old familiar thoughts clawing their way back to the surface.Broken. Defective. Wrong.
If pack members were listening to him, then maybe Lonnie had a point. How useful was Connor to Leyden if his mate had to keep fighting for him all the time?
Connor found himself at the boundary line, staring across into neutral territory. He could leave. It would be chronically hard on his wolf and Leyden’s. Connor knew he wouldn’t last a month without his mate, now they’d exchanged bites.
Leyden’s strong, though. He’d survive and when he’s gotten over the bond break he could find someone better…someone normal.
Connor’s wolf rumbled angrily inside his head. He wasn’t impressed with the way Connor’s thoughts were going.
“You’re catastrophizing again.”
Connor didn’t turn at the sound of Leyden’s voice behind him. “How’d you find me?”
“Our bond. You’re broadcasting distress like a beacon.” Leyden stepped beside him, close enough their shoulders brushed. “What happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Connor.” Leyden’s hand found his. “I can feel you shutting down. Talk to me.”
Connor pulled away, creating distance. “I’m thinking maybe Lonnie’s right. It seems plenty of other pack members think so.”
Leyden went very still. “Right about what?”
“That I’m holding you back and that maybe the pack deserves an alpha mate who can actually fulfill the role in every way.” The words tasted bitter. “A mate you don’t have to constantly defend simply because that person doesn’t smell right.”
“Are you fucking serious right now?”
“It’s what I heard. It’s what the pack is thinking. How you’ve sacrificed everything for me.” Connor forced himself to meet Leyden’s eyes. “Do I need to list it all out again? About how you lost your sex life, your pack’s respect, your father’s approval…all because I’m too broken to be a proper mate.”
“Don’t.” Leyden’s voice dropped to a growl. “We agreed you wouldn’t use that word to describe yourself again. Don’t do that. Not after all we’ve been through.”
“What else am I?” Connor’s control cracked. “I can’t give you what every other wolf takes for granted. Can’t even mark you properly with scent because we haven’t…” He couldn’t finish the sentence.
“Connor, listen to me…”
“No.” Connor stepped back. “It doesn’t matter what I’ve already done for this pack, it’s not enough. I love you too much to keep dragging you down. You deserve better than a mate who makes your own pack question your judgment.”
Leyden’s eyes flashed gold. “When did this happen? Who said that to you?”
Connor shook his head. “Doesn’t matter.”
