“Can’t we...” What? Find some way to be together, yes. But how? I have no idea.
“No,” he bites out. Then he kicks the bed with a roar of frustration.
The mattress lurches across the floor before sliding to a shuddering stop. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him lose control. And the sight guts me because it means he’s breaking, too.
“Raiden—”
“I said no. The last thing in the world I want to do is let you go. But you saw Mathias yesterday. He and his Anarki are relentless. They’ve already attacked us at Bram’s manor and burned it to the ground. We’ve engaged him and his followers in battle repeatedly. It’s only a matter of time until the casualties mount up. Marrok, Caden, Ice, my fucking twin… They all have mates, and I don’t understand bringing them into this danger.” He shakes his head. “But none yet have a coming youngling. If this fight with Mathias drags on for decades, as it did during his first reign of terror, then raising a child constantly in danger… No. Besides, I don’t know how to care for you the way you deserve. And you…you deserve everything.”
I cup his face in my hands, willing him to understand. “You care for me in every way I could want, Raiden. If not for the baby, I would do whatever it took to stay with you.”
“And God help me, I would probably let you.” He grabs my shoulders. “I’m so damn weak where you’re concerned.”
I caress his cheek, and he closes his eyes, a shudder racing through him.
Then he leans down and presses a lingering kiss to my mouth, soft, full of regret and good-bye. “I love you.”
I feel those three words light up my whole body. The air leaves my lungs. He loves me? Really? Yes, the truth is there in his blue eyes. He looks straight at me, not blinking, not flinching. Finally, he lets me see how much I mean to him.
And it ruins me. Completely.
“Why now?”
“Because I’m selfish. You’d get over me more quickly if you believed I didn’t care, but I can’t stand you thinking that I’m too much a bastard to love you. And because there’s a part of me that hopes you never forget me.”
“Never,” I vow. “I’m praying our youngling has your eyes so I can look at him and remember you each day.”
I hold back a sob. God, this is tearing me up inside. While I’ll be safe and protected with a man who will watch over my youngling and me, Raiden will be alone, fighting the war that most of magickind is too cowardly to wage. And he’ll likely die knowing that once Sean Calls to me and I speak the Binding, I’m lost to him forever.
He’s causing himself immense pain to ensure my well-being. As much as I hate the situation, I love him even more for his sacrifice.
“Don’t do this. I’m willing to risk the danger to stay here with you.”
He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “I’m not. Your safety—and the youngling’s—means more to me than…anything.”
Damn it, under his manwhore facade, he has a pure, noble heart. “But you won’t be safe.”
Raiden shrugs. “All I ask is that you remember me. Tell our youngling about his father, please.”
I nod, but the promise feels like I’m handing him a gravestone. “I don’t want this.”
If he’d say one word—one single word—I would stay. Damn the danger. Damn the consequences.
Instead, he holds out a hand to me. “It’s time. Let’s go. Blackbourne is expecting you.”
Dying inside, I link my hand in his. I struggle to stay on two legs, to stop from throwing myself against his chest and begging. My heart hates every moment of this…but my head fears he’s right.
Together, we venture through the cavernous structure, then exit to the rocky outcrop overlooking the sea. The winds are calm today. The sun rising over the water looks magnificent with the promise of a new day, a new beginning.
“I can make my own way from here,” I whisper.
Raiden shakes his head. “I’ll see you there safely.” He hesitates then, squeezing my hand. “Don’t make me let you go before I must.”
I hold back tears and nod. A moment later, the vacuum sweeps around my head, and I stagger, my balance off as Raiden transports me to Blackbourne’s estate.
When we arrive, he gives my hand one last squeeze…then releases me. He won’t disrespect Blackbourne when the wizard is stepping up to take care of what’s his.
I want so badly to grab him again, hold him one last time, but in front of us are the imposing black wrought-iron gates protecting Blackbourne’s rambling estate from intruders. On the other side, Sean walks toward us in the morning light with a purposeful step.
