“We’re obviously not going to let that happen,” I said. How could he have considered that a possibility?
“We’re not?”
“No, Ethan. Why would you even think I would be okay with that? All of the mate stuff aside, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” I tossed a hand toward him.
“You don’t want a mate. I don’t expect you to trade your comfort for my life.”
“If I really hate it, we’ll just live separately.”
He met my gaze with a small, tired smile on his face. “I don’t want to live separately, Maya. I wantyou. I want everything with you. I’m in love with you. Hopelessly fucking in love with you.”
My throat swelled.
Panic warred with emotions I didn’t have names for.
Strong ones.
“I think I’m falling in love with you too.” The admission was quiet. Barely above a whisper. “I don’t know for sure, but I can’t lose you.”
“I’m not going to let you seal a mate bond with me if you aren’t positive I’m it for you. I won’t be the reason you’re unhappy at any point in the future.”
“You don’t get to make that decision alone. I could take these glasses off right now and start a mate bond.” My hands were trembling. Maybe all of me was.
“You could. But you won’t.”
Tears welled in my eyes.
“Come here.” He opened his arms.
I swallowed roughly and took the two steps that separated us, folding myself into his arms. He pulled me close, holding me tightly.
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucked up, I don’t know how to do relationships. I barely know how to have friends.” My voice shook along with the rest of me.
Ethan was dying, but I still couldn’t commit to being his mate. Not in the ways he wanted me to.
“You’re the best friend I’ve ever had too, Muffin. You’re better than you think.” He kissed my forehead. “I wouldn’t want anyone else.”
“Youhaveto say that.”
He chuckled. “Nah.”
“You’ve invested too much money into my cookware to back off now.” I tried to lighten the mood. My eyes were still watering, so the other option was to start full-on crying.
“I’ve been plotting out which colors to buy for the replacement pans.”
“Of course you have.”
“The biggest one will be red. It’s your color.”
“I can rock red.”
“The medium one will be green. Electric green. Like toxic waste.”
“I love it already.”
“The small one will be light purple.”
“Lavender?”
