You could hear a pin drop in this moment. It feels like every person in this room is holding their breath. No one speaks. The monitor beeps, giving a reading of Leif’s blood pressure. His heart rate monitor beeps at precise intervals.
Leif groans. And every set of eyes trains on him. My own heart rate would set off every monitor on planet Earth. He mumbles something, but his throat is dry and his tongue is out of practice.
“He’s trying to talk,” Eva says. “What’s he saying?” Our argument is all but forgotten for the moment. That’s how it works with family. You move on after fights. You fight for the common good.
Our fight turns to the man in the hospital bed. Disuse has destroyed his voice box.
The doctor leans over and narrows his eyes. “What was that?”
Slowly, Leif’s blue gaze flicks to meet mine. I’m sure I look like a wild animal—a crazy person without the ability to control her emotions. “Why,” he says, broken into two scratchy syllables.
I hold my breath. My heart furiously pounding against my ribcage.
NINETEEN
Leif
I don’t waketo true love’s kiss. No. The first thing I hear is my sister screeching like a motherfucking wildcat. The next voice is more pleasing, but I can tell she’s upset. She talks about not loving Dylan. My brain seems to be a few steps behind. It takes several moments to process what they’re talking about and what it means. I seem to be entrenched in some foggy haze. It feels like I’m in a nightmare. One I can’t force myself to wake from—knowing all the bad would go away if I could arise from this sleep.
“I never loved Dylan,” Malena shouts. The name breaks me from my black prison.
Opening my eyes, I’m met with a dull light. Malena. I see the back of her head, her brown hair sleek, with blond highlights. It’s shorter and lighter than it was when I saw her last. When did I see her last? The beeping correlates to a hospital. The dots connect in rapid succession. Malena’s hand shakes in my own. “I never loved Dylan!”
Even in the haze, my recollection is seeping back in. The unexpected gunfight. Aidan. Tacos. Eva messaging me photos. Dylan and Malena. Husband. My leg. The fucking bad guy.
My voice doesn’t work when I try to open my mouth. A noise I’ve never heard comes out of me. It’s enough to garner stares from those around me. Malena’s big brown eyes meet mine and it nearly kills me. Again. I open my mouth, taking more effort than opening a mouth should take.
The word comes out, finally. “Why?”
“Oh, my god. Can you hear me?”
Not going to try to talk again, so I nod once.
“I love you,” Malena shouts, like she thinks I’m also deaf. “You can hear me.”
Eva leans over and meets my gaze with a tearful look. “I can’t believe you’ve been such an asshole,” she says.
I grin.
“I was going to kill you tomorrow.”
I grin once again.
My mom and dad pace over. How much time has passed? They look older. So much older than the last time I saw them. The worry etched on their faces tells a lifetime of heartache. Mom leans over and hugs me, whispering things in my ear about being so happy I’m okay. How much she loves me. How worried she’s been. There’s a fear there I’ve never heard before. Not in a lifetime of deployments and dangerous trips.
“Ai-dan,” I croak.
“He’s fine. He saved your life,” a doctor says. I’m in a military facility. The uniforms are telling me everything I need to know. He leans over me. “You’ve been gone for nine months, Leif Andersson. In a coma, we have tried everything to get your body to work on its own. I won’t give you too many details right now. It must be a lot. You need rest.”
Eva groans. “He’s had nine months to rest. He needs to meet his daughter!”
Malena’s gaze is wild as she turns her focus to Eva and then back to me.
Daughter. Daughter. Daughter. Daughter.
“He’s not ready for that, Eva. Shut your mouth for once.”
My mom scolds my sister as my dad hugs me, which I think is supposed to distract me from what Eva just said, but it’s too late. “Why?” I say once again, touching Malena, my hand brushing her thigh.
