Shaking my head, I approach her, wrapping my hands around her rib cage. She’s so small, so perfectly made to fit into my hands. “Not a bachelor in the sense you’re thinking.I’ve never met someone worth breaking rules for. There’s a difference. I didn’t give the women from my past time because they weren’t worthy of it.”
“I’m worth it?”
I grin. “More than worth it. Anytime I’m not with you, I’m wishing I was.” That’s never happened before. I have never dreamed I’d want to be anywhere as much as I want to be next to Malena. Inside her.
“Don’t send them home. I want to hear more stories about you.”
“They won’t cloud your good judgment?” I ask. “Send you running to the hills?”
She shakes her head. “They only add to your appeal.” Her eyes dart to the side, and she gets a far-off look in her eye. “A shame I don’t have any siblings to appeal on my behalf, huh?”
“Nah, they’d probably be hot older sisters, and I’d go after them instead.”
Malena laughs, a soft smile pulling up one corner of her mouth. “That’s not funny.”
With one finger under her chin, I tilt her face up. The setting sun blazes through the house and into my bedroom through the open door like a fiery reminder of what this woman is doing to my life. Setting everything on fire. Bringing me to life by singeing me from the inside out.
Leaning into me, she kisses me, allowing her tongue to twine against mine. A battle. A duel. My wits. Her kiss. Malena is in my space, a place no other woman has been. I want to scream it from the rooftops and also bury it like a skeleton. When you become attached to things, they become weaknesses—a guise of security.
I’ve seen it before, with friends, with enemies. A lump forms in my throat as I pull her closer, wrapping her in my arms. She’s safe. The kiss finishes slowly, our chests pressed together.
As she catches her breath, her forehead against mine, I suck in air.
I breathe in love. I exhale pain.
TEN
Malena
“How painful was that?Scale of one to ten?” Leif asks, shutting and locking his front door. “Mr. Olsen is in bed. I put the leftovers in his fridge. I’ll stop by in the morning before I head to the airport for jumping to make sure he knows they’re there.” He eyes me up and down almost as if he’s appraising for damage.
Eva and Celia were delightful during dinner. I think they had a coming-to-God moment while Leif and I spoke alone in the bedroom. After we returned to the kitchen, they seemed to be on their best behavior. Leif didn’t question their change in demeanor, and I was relieved because it made things easier on me. For all intents and purposes it was a nice family meal. Something I’ve not had in years. It made me miss my mom.
Sighing, I dry the last dish and put it away in the correct cabinet, and then turn to meet his steely blue gaze. “Zero. It was actually pretty awesome. They aren’t nearly as bad as you say,” I reply, smiling. “They love you.”
“To death,” he adds. “Listen, I know we didn’t plan for tonight to go down like that, but I want you to know I’m glad you met them. I want you to see all of me.”
I swallow down the fear of the unknown. “Leif, I see you whether you realize it or not. You showed your heart to me far before your sisters told me you’re a weak swimmer.”
He palms his chest. “I am a fucking amazing swimmer,” he returns. “And there’s nothing wrong with my swimmers.” His face pinks. “That just came out. Sorry. That’s insensitive.”
I flop down on his sofa. “There isn’t anything wrong with your swimmers. That’s okay to say. Remember, I’ve dealt with infertility most of my adult life. I have a spine—and can handle any joke,” I explain. “Though, I’m glad your parents didn’t come over tonight. I want to fix myself up before I meet them. Be a presentable human,” I say, picking up the edge of my shirt and setting it back down. “I look like a slob. If your sisters say anything about me, anything at all, you are bound to tell me.”
He grins. “There’s no way you want to know what they’re going to say.”
“Why?” I swallow down all of my insecurities. They go down like razor blades. I know I’m not good enough for Leif. His sisters will have noticed that right away. They’ve already had to bail me out of a situation, and their brother is footing the bill. I’m a charity case. Now it’s my job to prove to them I’m more than that. That I am a deserving person even if I don’t feel like one. That I’m worthy of a man like Leif Andersson.
“Because they are inappropriate, Malena. No other reason than they’ll probably discuss our sex and foreplay routine as casual conversation. Their filters are broken. I’d never subject you to that kind of talk. They won’t have anything negative to say about you. You guys got along perfectly. You can’t really be worried about what they think about you. Are you? They loved you.”
I shrug, and he closes the space between us.
“Don’t. Don’t do that.” Leif says.
“You say you’re not, but in my eyes you’re pretty damn close to perfect. You have an amazing career, a caring family, and a sense of honor and humor,” I say, licking my lips. “Leif,” I add, “you are generous and kind.” I wave an arm at his body. “You’re fucking sculpted like a marble statue. Museum quality. Except better, because you’re not missing a head or a hand or a finger.” Leif presses his lips into a firm line, trying his best not to laugh at my comparison.
“And I, well, I struggle with almost everything. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see we aren’t a balanced pair. What if I always need you more? More of your time. More of your attention. More of everything? Because that’s probably how it’s going to be. You still have to give as much to your job as you did before we met.” Using my other arm, I wave to the hallway of awards—signs that he’s amazing in his career as well. “What if you don’t have time or energy for me?”
“Are we arguing? Is this our first argument?” he asks, tilting his head, smiling.
