The moment he looked at Adam Palmer’s tombstone, Hawk was shocked by the wave of pain that swept right through him.No one was at the cemetery.No one could witness his tears.
“Holy shit, I was hoping Sarah was wrong.”He took a gasp and then crouched down.
Adam rested beside his parents.Hawk knew he had lost them when he was young.Adam’s mother had died first of cancer, and within two years, so had his dad.During his father’s last days, Adam made himself emancipated, so he wouldn’t be taken in by the State.They arranged everything prior to Adam’s father’s death.
Hawk recalled going over to his house to give him some lessons, and being shocked that he was so responsible.He even asked him if he’d throw some wild parties.Adam had always told him he couldn’t.Being a minor and proving responsibility, a party would make things worse.The truth was, Adam had been hurting.
“I can’t believe this happened.I’m such a fucking dick for not writing back.I don’t even know which one of us wrote back last,” he said.“You shouldn’t be gone.”
He looked at the dates, knowing it had been seven years.
“You married Katie,” he said.
Hawk hadn’t even known the two were dating.
“I hope you guys were happy.”
He didn’t like that he didn’t know.
Tears filled his eyes.Work had dominated his whole world.Work and playing the fuck around, doing his job.Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, pretending people were his friends, when the truth was, they didn’t give a fuck.When he ended up in the hospital, there were no friends, colleagues, or associates that had come to see him.None, fucking none.
There had been his family, but no one else, his working life hadn’t given him anyone.
Crouching down, staring at an old friend’s grave, he knew life had thoroughly kicked him in the balls.He suffered a heart attack, even died on the table for a short time.And yet, if he actually looked back on his life, all he had to show for it was a good company.That was it.Sure, people would love the company and the work, but he didn’t have anything else.No family.No kids.No wife.Nothing.
Adam had a wife.He didn’t even know if he had any kids.The saddest truth was that no one knew, not Adam, not his sister, not even Katie.Adam had married the one girl Hawk had a crush on throughout high school.Katie Smith had been one of the most amazing girls he’d ever known.She’d been a real firecracker, never taking his shit.It had been fun to tease her.
The cheerleaders had hated her.Yes, she’d been bigger than them, but she also had never walked around semi-naked.Whenever she walked into a room, Hawk had noticed her.Her long, brown hair had often been curled and looked so soft.She had been the only girl he had ever wanted, yet he’d never acted on it.Instead, he’d done what he had always done—been an asshole.
Katie had never been in his league.
****
Katie smiled at thetourist who was so excited to close off the rest of the world, and to just enjoy nature for the next month.She had insisted on bringing her cell phone-obsessed husband, and they had each left their cell phones back home.
It was amazing how many of her customers talked to her, and Katie loved it.She loved talking to people, helping them, advising them.Just like she had advised her customer about the occasional bear, and not to keep trash close to her tent.
She had also told her to go to the information center.So many people opted to come to Hope and ditch the cell phones, and oftentimes, they needed them.There were bears, the occasional wolf packs, nature being unpredictable, and all of that.
She wasn’t obsessed with her cell phone, but she knew it was a necessary piece of equipment in this modern world.It was strange to have grown up without a cell phone.She didn’t get one until well after high school.
She watched her customer leave and was surprised to see Hawk enter her shop.There were no other customers, and she had already done some stock inventory from her latest delivery.
“Hey, Hawk,” she said, rounding the counter.“What brings you here?”
He closed the door and shoved his hands into his pants.“Uh, you.”
“Me?”
“Yeah, I, uh, I heard the news about Adam, and I ...I went to visit his grave.”Hawk looked down at the ground.
Katie had known her husband and Hawk had been friends.It was one of those friendships where everyone assumed Hawk was using Adam.
Her husband had told her he didn’t know the first thing about computers.He was failing that class, he didn’t want to be forced to stay behind, and Hawk was helping him learn.This had surprised her, especially as Adam had set up everything for the shop, dealt with all their taxes and their online business stuff.
Obviously, he taught her everything before the worst happened.Even still, she had been surprised by his revelation that their friendship had bloomed long before that.
Hawk loved to play chess.So had Adam.The two had found a mutual liking, talking strategy, learning the game, learning the plays.They had stayed in touch after high school, but she had also known her husband had been the one to stop writing.And the friendship had fizzled out.Katie knew why Adam had done it, and now, looking at Hawk, she didn’t think it was right of her husband.
